[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for LoveX2254[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]To Break Me[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: To Break Me

Author: LoveX2254

Main Characters: Yuna (OC), B.A.P

Genre: Angst, Romance

Status: On-going

Description of Story: They say that an ending is really a beginning to a new story, but we just don't know it yet. My story ended a long time ago and nothing new has ever begun. Each page I turn is a blank one, yet still I read on like a fool as if one of the pages will hold something spectacular. And as I turn the page once more, there's but two letters on it. TS. I'm not going to sit around and wait for my life to begin. Even if it takes all my strength, I'm going to defy my father and defy my life to do something I want to do.

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 2/5

For your title; To Break Me, not exactly original or unique but it is relevant to the story. How it takes to break her down, honestly I'm getting mixed emotions on the title, I'm think either she gets hurt so much she 'breaks' or she will become stronger and be like "To break me, you fool" XD I think from the title, it's going to be a strong story line. Since the story is still in it's early stages I can't rate much about it, so maybe after a while, you can request again and we can see ^^ It does attract the reader/person scrolling down the page of fanfics and it does make me curious which is very important to attract readers, as people judge the story by the title, poster and neatness of the story.

 

Graphics: 7/10

For your poster, it's simple yet bold. With the pink her, she does stand out on the cream background and I liked how she matched the character you described her as ^^ For the font you used for the title it was certainly eye-catching because you/poster designer used two different fonts that complement each other well, and how 'break' was in black emphasized it more. For the background, I think you should maybe has a 'cold' coloured background such as grey or the same cream background, used in the poster as it wouldn't clash with the poster. Even though I don't like backgrounds, I felt your story needed one even though it has light angst in it ^^ I'm not really a designer of any sort so maybe ask a poster shop that has atleast 1+ year experience as she/he could help you ^^

 

Description and Foreword: 8/10

For your description part, it gives off the 'rebel' feeling, with the main character not wanting her life to be the same over and over again like a blank page or a broken radio. I felt very curious about the 'TS' bit at the end, but after I read the story I got it, or maybe not XD I think it's the TS from 'TS' Entertaiment as that was the thing that would change her life and her life would kinda be re-written and her story would begin there. Honestly I'm not the best at solving things like this. I tend to read the completed thing until I understand XD None the less it keeps the reader very curious and makes them want to read on more ^^ When you wrote; yet still I read on like a fool....... , I felt like you should've switched the two words 'still' and 'I' as it would make more sense but English is my second language XD so I'm not the best at picking out much grammar mistakes ^^ I liked how you portray her right at the beginning as someone who doesn't want go the path her father picked out for her ^^ I liked how you used a couple lines from your story and putted it in your foreword as