[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for cuteismysterious[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Dream Eater[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: Dream Eater

Author: cuteismysterious

Main Characters: Kim Haruhi (OC/You) and EXO's Byun Baekhyun

Genre: Fantasy / Supernatural

Status: Completed

Description of Story: Never seal a deal if your not sure about the payment.

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 4/5

Well, first of all, I can't say that the title is unique since I have read a story with the same title as yours, but still, it was interesting, and it really was relevant to the plot of the story. It also matches the theme of the story (fantasy) so overall, I can say that you did a good job choosing your title.

 

Graphics: 8/10

The poster was fine. It was fantasy-like; it matches the theme of the story well. I saw in your tags that this story is fluff-themed as well. I don't see the fluff on your poster though. It matches the fantasy theme, yes, but it looks too creepy to be fluff. Anyways, I still like the poster as it matches the background as well.

 

Description and Foreword: 7/10

I thought the description you gave me was the actual description of your story. It turned out I was wrong. Anyways, I love your description. I really appreciate poems! Unfortunately though, your poem did not amaze me that much. I understand that English is not probably your first language so I'll try to be more considerate. There were errors everywhere. I am not perfect with English as well, but I do know though what is wrong and what is right. You made the lines rhyme, which is good, but the lines were confusing to me at first. I'll credit you still for making poem-like. Anyway, here are some of the errors I saw. I'll gladly point it out. Here:

Is it difficult to sleep at night, for you young lady? -> Remove the comma. If you put it there, it qould sound like you're offering something to the 'young lady,' which you're not.

"No, no, it'll make my teeth aching!" -> wrong tense. It should be ache not aching.

Good girl, now let's do a pinky promise, shall we? -> You should put a period instead of a comma. It should be Good girl. Now let's do a pinky promise, shall we?

"I'm just right here, right beside you, I'll never leave you." -> it should be a period instead of a comma (after you)

I hope this helps, and sorry if I was harsh.

Another issue for me is the description for the 'Baku.' You should separate it (maybe leave a space after) with the poem. I thought it was included in the poem. You could do it like this: (This is just