Calling for IAmAnExoFan

"Three Wishes for a Soul"

Author: KIAmAnExoFanpopotakuXD

Main Characters: Kim Jongin | Do Kyungsoo

Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Friendship, Romance, 

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
Three lives. Three chances. Three wishes.
You better treasure it - keep it safe. Once lost, it's gone forever, and you will never get it back.
....

Note: Before anything else, I humbly apologize for a late review. I know you did not request for me but the author whom you have requested to review your story did not respond. So here I am, giving my honest thoughts.
One more thing: I have read that you do not wish your story to be copied without permission (who does, anyway?) but I just noticed that you did not click “Disallow Text Selection.” Please click it for your story's sake :)

  Critique:

Story Title: 5/5

As soon as I read your title, I instantly knew that I had to read this. This kind of title is a title that will pull readers in. It makes you curious, it leaves so much questions and the fact that this is really relevant to your story is a plus. Personally, out of all stories I have reviewed in this shop so far, this is the best title I have read yet.

 

Graphics: 10/10

I like how this is animated. I am like Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars. I intend to make metaphors of any objects even though they sometimes have no meaning at all. In this poster, there is sunlight but not a bright sunlight. The light mixes well with the dark atmosphere of the poster. But at the same time, the light and the dark color contradicts each other in a good way. The light is the hope that wants to conquer the darkness. The light appears and disappears in a blink of an eye...just like Kyungsoo.

 

Description and Foreword: 9/10

Description is very simple yet very appealing. It is honest and does not do this “false trick”. To tell the truth, I have read a lot of fanfictions that have fantastic descriptions and yet when you read the story, the excitement is not there anymore. The author “lied” to you in order to have your attention and read her/his work. I don't know if it is just me but I am always annoyed with that. So thankfully, your description did not lie to me. It stayed throughout the story, especially at the ending,

The foreword, on the other hand...well, what can I say? I really love it. I love that you did not put character charts in your foreword and that you have explained this kind of legend thing. It has helped me to understand the story more. The quotes said by your characters made me curious. I was kind of intimidated though when I read the praises for your story. I felt like, what if I would be the only one who would not like your story?

But then again, that does not matter. Aside from that, your description and foreword is a good example for everyone.

 

Characterization: 7/10

I'd like to talk about the scene between Sehun and Tao. To be honest, I can understand Tao. Sehun is kind of off in this scene. Tao has every right to ask what is their relationship with Mister Kim. In a real life situation, one cannot visit a patient from a mental institute just because he or she just wants to. There should be a valid reason. Usually, it is only the family members who are allowed to have a visit. Unless the family members are okay with the patient's friends to pay a visit.

There are many requirements before you could visit a patient in a mental institute. That really depends though. But mostly, it is hard to have an access.

I really don't know why Sandara's surname in this oneshot is Dragon. Are you a Daragon shipper? Maybe you are but still though...The story is set in Korea and Sandara is a Korean woman. Therefore, she should have a Korean surname unless she has changed it.

The actions and motivations of each character are justified. They are not just there to tell the stories but they are there for a purpose. I will concentrate on the two main characters though.

Do Kyungsoo. Even though you did not explore his character that much, I still liked his character. I just wish though that he was more than a nice dude. Through hardships, he stays as a positive person. And because of him, Jongin finds his home. He made Jongin whole again only to break Jongin over and over again. That's kind of sad.

Jongin is the guy who likes to be alone. Being with Kyungsoo is enough for him. I think being with Kyungsoo has wrecked him even before Kyungsoo died. Because he thinks that Kyungsoo is the only person he needs, he does not know what to do when Kyungsoo finally left him for good.

Jongin's parents. Their characters play a big role in Jongin's life. Had they stayed alive, Jongin and Kyunsoo would have not met. Perhaps, Jongin would still be that smiling guy who does not depend on one person.

I do not want to blame Donghae but I somehow do. Had he chosen the right road, he and his wife would not die and Jongin would not have been put into misery. Their death has made a big impact to Jongin.

Overall, I like your characters. Kyungsoo is just generic though but other than that, you have beautiful characters.

 

Plot: 30/40

I have read a lot of stories like this. In fact, I have a story wherein Yongguk still thinks that Junhong is still alive. What I am trying to say here is, your plot is not really original. This is over-used and nothing new to offer.

But this story does not aim to be original but to grip a reader's heart. There were times that I felt sad especially when I read how Jongin's life changed when his parents died. Surprisingly, I did not feel anything when Kyungso died. Perhaps it's because I saw it coming. I don't know.

However, I still enjoyed your plot.

 

Consistency: 4/5

The story is not too slow. But there are scenes that seem to be too fast to me. Maybe it's because you use adverbs too much which I have explained in the grammar section.

 

Readers' Response: 5/5

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter