Calling for Queensabelle

"Scars of Love"

Author: Queensabelle

Main Characters: Cho Jin Ae (IU as OC) and Nam Woo Hyun

Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, Friendship, Romance, School Life, Light Comedy

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
Had you ever have questions that you couldn't solve?
Had you ever love the wrong person?
Cho Jin Ae lived in a complicated family.
She didn’t know if she is supposed to be angry or be cool with her mother.
For one thing, her mom likes to date guys that are much much younger than her.
And yes, she had dated tons of younger good looking guys.
Few years after the death of her step-father,
And few months after seeing her mother’s latest boyfriend being dumped,
Her mother brought home a charming looking guy,
Nam Woo Hyun.
Jin Ae hates it because that guy is practically 10 years younger than her mom.
Would her complicated life get any worse than this?

    Notice: There are fourchapters so far. My approach toward this story is only based on the four chapters and not on the whole story. There are some parts that I might sound a little bit harsh but that is just how I talk. I am not a mean reviewer. Critique:

Story Title: 2/5

Scars of love is a very cliché title. It did not intrigue me. It did not make me feel that I have to read this story because there is going to be a story that I will love. But despite that, I withheld my judgment. There are stories that have this cliché titles and yet they are one of my most favorite stories of all times.

Yours, however, did not do any justice to your title. The “sufferings” of your characters are caused by their own childish actions. Or perhaps the story is just starting. Maybe you have requested too early? Because honestly, Scars of Love tells me that this will be something dramatic and full of angst and yet I do not feel any drama in here. Sure, Jin Ae lost her father; her mother brought another man etc. But none of those had justified your title.

 

Graphics: 10/10

This is the only section where you got a full score. The poster is really eye-catching and gives you this hope that this story has something. I don't think there is a need of a BG. The poster is perfect and so kudos to whoever had made this poster. I really love it. In fact, I saved it on my PC since it is really beautiful.

 

Description and Foreword: 5.5/10

Description:

Original: Have you ever love the wrong person?
Correction: Have you ever loved the wrong person?

Original: For one thing, her mom likes to date guys that are much much younger than her.
Correction: For one thing, her mom liked to day guys that are much...
(You started with past tense. Stick to it)

And yes, she had dated tons of younger good looking guys.
Few years after the death of her step-father, 
And a few months after seeing her mother’s latest boyfriend get dumped,
Her mother brought home a charming looking guy,
Nam Woo Hyun.

Correction: Make a new paragraph afer “And yes, she had dated tons of younger good looking guys”.
And who is the “she” we are talking about here?
I know that we are talking about Jin Ae's mother but for a moment, I was confused.
So here is my correction: “Few years after the death of Jin Ae's stepfather.” In this sentence, Jin Ae is our subject and so you have to address her name in here to avoid confusion.

Original: And a few months after seeing her mother’s latest boyfriend get dumped
Correction: and a few months after seeing her mother's latest boyfriend got dumped

Original: Her mother brought home a charming looking guy, Nam Woo Hyun.
Correction: Her mother brought home a charming looking guy—Nam Woo Hyun.

Original: Jin Ae hated it because that guy was practically 10 years younger than her mom.
Would her complicated life get any worse than this?
Question: What “it” are we talking about here? Of course, the fact that her mother had another man and he was so much younger but let us be specific here.
Correction: Jin Ae hated the fact that the guy was practically ten years younger than her mom.

I am in no favor when it comes to Character charts. There are times I try to be unbiased towards my dislikes but character charts is one of the things I cannot avoid but to...hate. Sorry. However, there are some character charts that are tolerable. They are the ones that instead of spoiling the story, they add more curiosity and intense feeling that the story is going to be awesome. Yours though, however, falls to the category of “unnecessary introduction of characters.” None of the words you have presented had caught my attention. The facts are not interesting at all. The chart is kind of useless since we are going to know these “facts” when we read the story. So what is the use? It's just taking up so much space.

 

Characterization: 3/10

I hope I did not review this story. No, don't get me wrong. You are not a bad writer. It's just that the story is just beginning and so there is no room for me to judge this story as a whole.

Maybe, no, I hope that the characters will change because honestly, I really don't like them.

Jin Ae is the main driver of this story and yet she is the reason why I cannot love this story.

Sorry but I really tried to understand Jin Ae but really, she is annoying me. Isn't she a Korean girl? Why is she not acting like it? Okay, forget her nationality. Why isn't she acting like a daughter? I get it. She is angsty. Her mom had numerous guys in her life. It's not like her mom is a strict, abusive mother. In fact, I think she is very fun to be with! Maybe Jin Ae rea