Calling for mygracelesshope

"How to Seal a Deal"

Author: mygracelesshope

Main Characters: Hongbin and Hyuk

Genre: Angst, Fantasy/Supernatural

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
How much do you have over for the perfect life, a crossroad kiss? You’d be surprised how many people think it’s worth it. Hongbin is a crossroad demon, Hyuk has a wish. Once the deal is sealed, there is no escape.

 

  Critique:

Story Title: 5/5

It's a very unique title that gives out the intriguing vibe. It fits your story quite well and doesn't clash with other fanfics. I don't find anything worth criticizing in this segment.

 

Graphics: 9/10

Your poster is nicely made. The color of the background made the character stand out perfectly. Adding Vixx's logo is a great way to drag readers in. The only thing that bothers me is the font and color of the sentence, "Change your life with one crossroad kiss." It's slightly hard to read. You should also think about including a background to match your theme, but that's just a suggestion. Overall, I love the graphics.

 

Description and Foreword: 9/10

Your description isn't too long or too short. It's a good idea to write it in Hongbin's POV, so readers can know right away who he is. I also didn't find any grammar mistakes. Though there was one sentence that sounded awkward:

1) How much do you have over for the perfect life, a crossroad kiss?

The first time reading this, the "crossroad kiss" part sounded to me like it's part of "the perfect life".

Edited: How much can you risk for the perfect life? A crossroad kiss? (You don't necessarily have to change this, I'm just proposing something).

Conclusively, I find both your foreword and description to be suitable. They give your audience a suspenseful feeling while not giving away too much of the plot.

 

Characterization: 7.5/10

Because this is a really short story, I can't blame you for not going into detail about the character's traits and feelings. In terms of Hyuk, you did a great job. Especially when explaining his lust for fame, his nervousness, and his overall thoughts as a teen. What was lacking though, was the demons' feelings. I know your