"Through the Storm"

Author: Angel110

Main Characters: Lee Sungmin, Lee Donghae, Lee Eunhyuk and Cho Kyuhyun

Genre: Angst, Romance,

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
Three years have passed since the incident between Hyukjae, Donghae and Sungmin. Hyukjae chose Donghae, so Sungmin chose Kyuhyun. Sungmin is deeply in love with Hyukjae though; he thought that he could get him back, that Hyukjae would grow tired of Donghae and come to him, but then Donghae made it official with Hyukjae. All that resides in Sungmin's mind is how he will Hyukjae to be his; Sungmin is trapped in a wolrd of lies, hatred and a longing he will never obtain. Could this longing be a danger to not just him, but to the one he claims to love more than life itself?

Story Title: 4/5

The story title was generally okay, quite cool and dark (woohoo I like dark, sad-looking stories) but the [Sequel to Under The Rain] made me deduct one mark. If you want to show it’s the sequel to Under The Rain so your subbies know, you can actually put it at the top top top of the description so that it will be the first thing that appears in the archive and not part of the title as it makes it look unprofessional :<

Graphics: 9/10

The graphic is VERY VERY VERY pretty and gave a really nice sad and dark feel (as dark as Sungmin’s heart), but I feel that it is too dark for your story. There was a happy ending so I think that the poster and background didn’t have to be so dark.

Description and Foreword: 9/10

Everything is in order and in the right place. The description is good with enough suspense and content, but I think you can edit some sentences e.g.

Original: Sungmin is deeply in love with Hyukjae though
Suggested: Sungmin is still deeply in love with Hyukjae though

Original: that Hyukjae would grow tired of Donghae
Suggested: that Hyukjae would eventually grow tired of Donghae

Original: All that resides in Sungmin's mind is how he will Hyukjae to be his; Sungmin is trapped in a wolrd of lies, hatred and a longing he will never obtain.
Suggested: All that resides in Sungmin’s mind is how he will make Hyukjae his, and he wounds up trapped in a world of lies, hatred and a longing he will never fulfill.

I am not sure, but to me it makes the sentence flow better?

Characterization: 7/10

First things first, am I supposed to want to kill Sungmin?

Sungmin is seriously vnljgvjvjknhvjkhdjk in this fic, I don’t know. He honestly seems too shallow and jealousy ridden in this fic, to the extent it almost feels exaggerated. Perhaps there wasn’t enough emotional narrative/insight into his mental state and thoughts but I truly didn’t understand why the heck he would do all those. Like, it’s his band mate we are talking about, the same band mate he has lived together with for so many years, the same band mate he has sung and learned choreography it. To knock him down and put him in hospital over a guy (who in the end didn’t even lean on him at all [I mean Hyukjae just leaned on Siwon the whole time at the hospital]) is just insane.

On the other hand, I can tots understand Hyukjae. I mean, if Sungmin can send Donghae into hospital, Hyukjae can of course wield a knife too. Grief and anger can make people do crazy things, especially when the perpetrator is right in front of you admitting to his mistakes.

But ohgods, Kyu-bear ;-; Let me cry over Kyu-bear for a while. He. Is. So. Cute. Yet. So. Dumb. He honestly believes in his Minnie and yet Sungmin doesn’t love him back at all. And yet he trusts Sungmin even till the end, trying to convince himself that Sungmin is just confused. But I hav