Calling for forgottensnow68

"Paparazzi Next Door"

Author: forgottensnow68

Main Characters: Jung Eunhye (OC), Kim Nae Rim (OC), EXO

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
Three interconnected stories about the hardships of the KPOP world. First, is about South Korea's famous boy group, EXO and their struggles on dealing with scandals and controversy. Second, Jung Eunhye, a former war photographer turned showbiz paparazzi finds herself next door to her next big project. Lastly, Kim Nae Rim, a news writer, plots for revenge against Korea's #1 record label, SM Entertainment.

 

  Critique:

Story Title: 2.5/5

It’s typical and already I can feel it’s a kdrama like story (which you actually mention in your author’s note). A lot of authors here on AFF tend to use the generic “_____ next door” as their title and thus it’s not unique or original. Readers look at the title first when scrolling for a story and this isn’t the most enticing title out there, if anything it’s really easy to pass by this story without taking another second look. 

 

Graphics: 8.5/10

You actually alternate between two posters and I think they give off a different vibe in comparison to each other. Though I have to admit, that the first poster seems more fitting in terms of your character Eunhye, the reason for this is the way she’s carrying the bag (and her attitude) and I do enjoy the fact that EXO are on photographs and there’s a camera to showcase Eunhye’s occupation. 

It’s playful, fun, and looks cute, the type of poster you would use for a romcom if that’s what you’re looking for in terms of your story. 

The other poster, on the other hand seems more serious and darker almost, and well if you are going for a “Game of Thrones” theme—and from what I hear, GoT is dramatic and well a roller coaster of emotions—then I believe the second poster would be fitting for the story, in addition to that you have a matching background to it that doesn’t match up to the first poster anyways.

Both posters are nice, and clearly showcases the participating characters in this story, however while one of them lacks in something, then the other one has. Depending on what your story is about and what is the theme, would decide what poster seems more fitting.

 

Description and Foreword: 7.5/10

Your description is clear, concise and well gets straight the point. You’re able to describe each of the characters and pull them right together. I have to admit, I like it as it explains the story well without giving much away. 

The quote you used however is somewhat off, like I get that you used it because it ties right back to the title but maybe it’s the layout. Which leads me to say that when you’re using colours and fonts, sometimes there’s a point where it’s too much as it’s a bit all over the place and looks a bit unorganized; granted I’m a perfectionist so it’s not like I’m docking points off for this but I just wanted to mention it. 

Anyways back to the actual wording of the quote, it’s fascinating for sure, and I wonder who specifically from EXO actually says that. Quick side note: Ellipsis’ end in three dots, not five or four, and when you’re ending the quote, you might want to add a period at the end such as “Paparazzi next door.”

Now onto the character charts you have I’m not saying that they are a bad thing and I have nothing against them at all. However what I find with them, usually is that it somewhat ruins a character’s personality. What I mean by this is a reader finds out what a character’s personality is already before they’ve even read the story. It ruins the surprise as a reader cannot slowly discover a character and their quirks through reading. 

In your case however it seems redundant to have your character chart as it essentially repeats what you’ve stated in your description. 

 

Characterization: 7/10

So far I’m introduced to both Eunhye and Nae Rim the most with a side mention of both Suho, Baekhyun, and Luhan. 

From my perspective, it seems as though Eunhye is almost insensitive and lacking in emotions. However on the bright side, it seems as though your OC character is strong and has her own backbone which doesn’t make her fall into the naïve and innocent that most stories often portray OCs. Now you asked me to focus on Eunhye’s blunt comments and I have to say that she reaches conclusions without any road blocks really quickly actually. The things she said about Kris are relatable and are something that most fans (hopefully) assumed during that time, and in that sense I can c