"No Air"

Author: GoldenPeace

Main Characters: Luhan || Yoo Ri (OC) || Sehun

Genre: Abuse, Angst, Psychological, Romance, School Life, Tragedy

Status: On-going

Description of Story:Three years ago, everyone in town would know the name of Yang Yoo Ri. She was known best for being 'It Girl'. Bullying the fat and the stupid, the old and the ugly. A typical bully. A typical rich kid bully. Then, one night everything stopped. She disappeared without a trace, and no one had seen her again... until now.
Moving from town to town, Luhan was fully over-flowed with emotions of hate and desire once he found out that Yoo Ri lives in the same town as he and what's more interesting: she's an outcast.
And now that Yoo Ri is caught between the choices of letting her sister being get hit on by Luhan and his buddies, or do as Luhan wishes, and being Luhan's toy is not as easy as it seems, since there are others who wish to be in Yoo Ri's place, and which she would gladly switch with, if only she could.
He makes her do things she's never done in her life, and running away is not an option.
Is this the end of Yoo Ri's mental health or the beginning of the feeling called 'love'? If there is such thing on the world, 'Love'?

Story Title: 2/5

Your title caught a slight bit of my attention - yet, I did not feel intrigued. I couldn’t get my mind on what ‘No Air’ was supposed to mean. I literally spent 10 minutes just trying to figure what you were trying to imply. The first thing I thought of when I read your title was, ‘Someone struggling to breathe?’ You see, you don’t want people to misinterpret your title; you want them to understand it. Also, it is not necessary to put a full stop in your title - it doesn’t look good. Have you ever seen an actual book with a full stop in the title? But, on the other hand, your title is unique, so that saved you a little. I suggest you choose a title that connects more to the story. I would have preferred ‘No Air’ over ‘Bully Me Not’, though.

Graphics: 9/10

The graphics are absolutely amazing. I can definitely say that it connects to your story - considering that your story is an angst type. I love both, the poster and the background. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen such an amazing graphic - and yes, I am saying that from the graphic designer side of me. I really have nothing to say; it’s just absolutely amazing.

Description and Foreword: 8/10

Even though the title did not intrigue me, the description certainly has! The description was written in detail - which I love. My first impression of the foreword is just indescribable; even I cannot coherent what I should say about this description. I like how you put little ‘sayings’ from characters, and still, you did not give away too much. I have met many description with like, what, 2 words? It’s just annoying - and it irks me - that people would put a few words in their description; and they’d be done! You have done good with your describing.

There was a problem that I found, as I quote, “They say if a person is a bully, they must have something in their life that prevents them from experiencing happiness. I have happiness. Happiness is when your favourite TV series airs a week earlier before its release date. Happiness is when you buy your favourite ice-cream and enjoy it with your friends. Happiness is a thought of a good life, freedom from sufferning.” // Who is ‘they’? You could be talking about anyone. And you wrote ‘I have