"Noona, Will You Accept My Our Heart?"

Author: dorksherine

Main Characters: EXO and Kwon Yuri

Genre: Romcom

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
EXO’s parents were growing damn worried for their sons due to their sudden changes, from the sweet and obedient boys, to drug addicted and hormonal beasts. They knew this wasn’t good. They’ve been acting like this for the past 7 years and they were lucky enough that they still passed college and finished their studies despite of their tantrums.
They need someone who’ll convince their sons to get back to the straight path, so they could trust them in the inheritance of their companies in the future. And they only refer to one person. The one, who made their sons like this, will also be the one they’ll need to fix this. Their sons first love,
Kwon Yuri.

Story Title: 4/5

It's a cute title and relevant to the story. Not something that would make me immediately click on the story, however. 

Graphics: 8.5/10

The poster is cute but it's everywhere. I feel like I'm having to look everywhere at once. No background, so I didn't dock off for that.

Description and Foreword: 7/10

You requested for us to focus on grammar and the entertainment factor, so I'm going to be a tad harsh. If you're looking to be grammar smart, one of the first things to worry about is punctuation. For example:

"EXO’s parents were growing damn worried for their sons due to their sudden changes, from the sweet and obedient boys, to drug addicted and hormonal beasts."

This is what you would call a "comma-splice error." Comma splice occurs when you put a comma between two complete sentences instead of a period, colon, or semi-colon. In this case, the first sentence should have been written as:

"EXO’s parents were growing damn worried for their sons due to their sudden changes: from the sweet and obedient boys, to drug addicted and hormonal beasts." 

Colons are used when there is a list, quotation, etc. You also use colons when it is referencing back to the previous sentence. 
 

Looking at your foreword and description, all I can say is: "Wow, this is really frigging long."

It honestly took me much longer to get through your foreword and description than it took me to finish chapter one. Shorten it, if you can/want, and it will be much easier on the eyes.

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