"Pull Me Under"

Author: colorfulsky

Main Characters: Sehun, OC

Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, Friendship, Mystery, Schoollife, Tragedy

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
She wanted to relive that day. So every day she did, hoping that it would bring her closer to him.
Every day he never knew what this strange girl was up to… until he realized she was drowning herself.

Story Title: 5/5

Perfect! It’s simple, yet unique. It makes complete sense with the story while also foreshadowing the genre. So a job well done!

Graphics: 10/10

The graphics are perfect, the precise example of ‘less is more’. The poster is cryptic and it has an artsy feeling. I like that. Even the background, it’s primarily white with just the title in a nice blue text. Simple. Clean. The picture for the chapter is perfect. As for the quote, good job choosing just the right ones!

Description and Foreword: 8/10

The description was simple, again, but it was different. When I read it, I had a feel for what I might be getting if I continued and that hooked me from the get go. It’s a line which will catch all the angst-junkies around. Oh, as a note, I think the following line would have a greater impact if there was a break after ‘until he realised’.

Improvement: ...until he realised, she was drowning herself.

For the foreword, you put up snippets of reviewer comments which are completely okay but I would’ve preferred if you used a snippet from the actual fic itself instead. The story is long enough so a small scene-reveal shouldn’t have jeopardised the overall impact. Either way, it was an intro well served.

Characterization: 8/10

Okay, it terms of characterisation, considering this was a one chapter story, was done really well. We were given a background, a place, a timeline, a look into the characters psyches and interpersonal interactions. So in those terms you did everything right.

However, both the character’s reactions and thoughts were highly exaggerated, bordering on comic at times. I understand that Sehun has formed a deep connect with nameless AND is someone with a strong 6th sense but the way he just knew it in his “bones” and “soul” was just, over the top. And nameless and her