Calling for Blu3Wind

"Trapped in a K-Drama"

Author: Blue3Wind

Main Characters: OC x Infinite

Genre: Angst, Comedy, Drama, Fluff, Friendship, Romance

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
Nam Eun Hee is an aspiring writer who watches K-Drama for a living. What happens when she wakes up the next morning and realizes she is trapped in a typical K-Drama parallel universe? In her journey, she meets seven all too familiar male protagonists. With each K-Dramatic encounter, how will this affect her story?

    Critique:

Story Title: 2/5

When I look at a title, I judge its quality on whether I feel like reading the story or not. Although the plot beneath that title may be superb and mind-blowing, if the title doesn’t attract the reader’s attention, then no one would be able to discover that amazing story hidden beneath the title. I kind of feel like that’s what’s happening with your title; when I first saw your title, I wasn’t all that eager to read your story. But after I read it, I felt like I was tricked by your title because your story is simply amazing.

I believe a title should reflect the story. True, your title is heavily related to your story, but sadly, it didn’t give out that vibe which made me want to click onto the link. I’m sure there’s many other titles out there that would be both related to the story and be more eye-catching. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I felt like you chose the title according to your plot, and that’s good since it’s meant to reflect your plot. But, I hope in the next fanfic you write, you’ll choose a title that accentuates your plot instead of just simply stating what it’s going to be about.

I know thinking of a title is hard work, but a good title is your first step in to success with your fanfic. If you want people to discover that beautiful story of yours, then your title needs to be equally beautiful in order to attract readers. I think of it like this: A title is like the image of an idol, if the image of the idol is good, then people will go and search him up. It is only when they search him up that they would be able to discover the idol’s talents. So from now on, think of your stories as an idol, and you’re the stylist in charge of making the idol look good…

Anyway, I can only give you general advice about titles since thinking up titles is my weakest point in story making. Therefore, I am still improving myself too. But I hope what I wrote up there helped you even in the tiniest way possible.

 

Graphics: 7/10

For such a light-hearted and fluffy story, I feel like your graphics isn’t cute enough. Let’s start with the poster.

Firstly, your poster is a little bit bland. I was expecting more pink and white and happy and fluffy colours but then I see shades of brown that doesn’t resemble anything the tags on your story reads. I’m truly sorry if you made the poster yourself (I assumed so since I don’t see any credits of poster shops), and I recognize your efforts, but I have this strong urge to ask you either to make a new poster that’s more fluffy or go request for a poster in poster shops. You can PM me if you want recommendations for poster shops. I know one that makes really good posters.

Anyway, please do not feel that I’m trying to say the poster is terrible just because I’m asking you to switch posters. No, it’s definitely not because of that, but as I had stated in the title section above, your poster should reflect your storyline as much as possible. It’s the same thing with titles, the prettier the graphics, the higher the chance readers will proceed to read your stories because I’m sure there’s readers out there like me who sometimes judge their first impression of the story based on the graphics.

Moving on to the background. Once again, although it’s nice and simple, it’s dreadfully plain. I suggest you change your background as well…find a more light-hearted background that, once again, reflects your story. Maybe something like this: http://backgrounds.mysitemyway.com/background/baby-pink-pastel-tileable-patterns-16/

Anyway, I’m sorry for asking you to change your graphics, but as an art student, I really prioritize the graphics in marking a good first impression to your readers. Whether you change your graphics or not though, is your own choice. After all, we all have our own preferences and ideas.

 

Description and Foreword: 8/10

Your description is simple, short, and gives the reader a slight insight to your coming story. But it could be made more interesting, both visually and literally. Firstly, I suggest you enlarge the words a little and maybe space out the sentences so that it looks better. You could also change the font to a prettier one and even make it a bit more colourful – highlight the key words in another colour or something like that.  

Next, I have some questions for certain sentences in your description.

Sentence one: ‘Nam Eun Hee is an aspiring writer who watches K-Drama for a living.’

So, when you say that she ‘watches K-Drama for a living’, are you actually saying that she earns money out of watching K-Drama? Or that she spends a lot of time watching K-Drama? Since doing something for a living means being able to live from doing that thing; that is, being able to earn money from it and buying necessities in order to survive. The reason why I’m asking you this question is because I don’t think you can really make money out of watching K-Drama, nor would you be able to survive watching it. Therefore, I assumed that you’re actually trying to say that she watches K-Drama frequently. If that’s the case, then this is how it can be revised:

Revised: Nam Eun Hee is an aspiring writer who spent most of her life watching K-Drama.

^ Or something of the likes.
 

Sentence two: ‘Not because she enjoys it, but because there are so many things to criticize at.’

Firstly, this sentence sort of contradicts with your first one. In your first sentence, you’re saying that she’s an aspiring writer who spends masses amount of time watching K-Drama. Next, you’re telling me that she watches it because there’s so many things in the Drama to be criticized about? Now then, why would she watch K-Drama if it’s that bad in her eyes?

I assumed she watched K-Drama to gain inspirations from them in order to become a better writer, but since K-Drama is so criticisable, why would she waste her time watching K-Drama when she could be watching something else that could let her learn from it? Anyway, I was pondering over these two lines for a while, trying to find the logical relationship between them. Therefore, I would like to point this out for you to ponder over as well.

Sentence three: ‘In this typical K-Drama story, Nam Eun Hee’s family is broke. Her father has disappeared, leaving a tremendous debt his family has to take care of. Eun Hee was, without a surprise, still a university student in dire need of a part-time job. In her journey, she meets seven all too familiar male protagonist. With each K-Dramatic encounter, how will this affect her story?’

Firstly, I see no point in stating that Eun Hee was a university student in dire need of a part-time job since it doesn’t really link well with your following sentences. What I think you should explain here is how Eun Hee is in desperate need of money instead of stating that she needs a part-time job. Anyway, I’ve revised this paragraph for you, so you can have a look at it and see whether you like the revised version or not:

Revised: In this typical K-Drama story, Nam Eun Hee’s family is broke. Her father disappeared after leaving a tremendous debt and Eun Hee, who is still only a university student, is left having to deal with the aftermath of the debt. But like any typical K-Drama plot, Eun Hee meets seven all too familiar male protagonists in her struggle for money. With each K-Dramatic encounter, how will this affect her story?

I’m not too proud with this revised version, but what I was trying to point out was that everything in your description needs to be linked some way or another. Eun Hee’s dire need for money is basically the platform which allowed her to meet each guy, so don’t just tell me that she needs money, but show me why her dire need for money is important to the story.

Okay, moving on to the foreword.

Firstly, I really like your character chart. I don’t know why, but I just have this thing for character charts like yours where each character is given a little nickname. It’s cute, comedic and I think it really suits your story since each character is basically a clichéd character from K-Dramas. There’s only one thing I think you can add to your character chart, and that is the adding of the actual names of your characters since not everyone’s going to be able to recognize these faces. Don’t add anything else other than that though, since you don’t want to be giving out too much information.

 

Characterization: 10/10

Each character has its own distinctive personality and characteristic, and that isn’t an easy thing to do especially when you have so many characters to write about. Even though each character follows a clichéd persona, you were responsible for making that persona come alive no matter how clichéd it was, and truthfully, you did an amazing job at that.

Seeing how I gave you full marks on this section, you would be able to imagine that I have close to absolutely nothing to pick on your characters, therefore, I will instead write a little character analysis for each character.

Nam Eun Hee: She’s this head-strong, shameless, quick-witted girl who has this amazing appetite, and is named with many nicknames: Mint, Mrs. Nam, Pig…etc. Of course, as the main protagonist of a K-Drama life, she has a tragic past, is surrounded by hot guys, and most importantly, is involved in a love triangle. (Or maybe even a love square…possibly a love pentagon.) I love how she’s so chill about e