[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for sapphireBLUEofficial[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]The Last Drop of Snow[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: The Last Drop of Snow

Author: sapphireBLUEofficial

Main Characters: EXO's Luhan and OC Lovisa

Genre: Romance

Status: Completed

Description of Story: How Luhan slowly remembers everything as the days dwindle on to the lsat day when the last snow will drop.

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 4/5

I like your title. The first time I read it, it gave me a sad vibe, to which I expected your story to be somewhat sad or rather angsty, and I was right. The title complemented the story, so good job. I do think that the title is a bit long; you could have used a one word or a two word title which has a deep meaning relating to your story, but I guess your title is good as it is. What I'm saying is that a good title is paramount to grabbing people's attention and, most importantly, making them remember it, is important. For instance, your title is too common, and a reader wouldn't want something too long as they might have aa hard time remembering your title. You do not want something too generic or too bland, but this is just my opinion so... ^^

 

Graphics: 3/10

Your graphics weren't attractive at all. The poster was too small, and the design is kind of messed up. I didn't like the background as well. I didn't think it was snow at first. I do believe that the plot of the story is far more important than the graphics though, but sadly, reality is really not that simple. Readers tend to read a story all the way because of the physical appearance. I guess this is one of the reasons why your story lacks readers and feedback. Graphics are the are just the visual effects your story will provide, I know, but let's face it, if you were the reader, wouldn't you be more attracted to read a certain story if the poster and the background looks awesome? All in all, I just advise you to change the graphics, which I know wouldn't be that bad since there are a lot of good graphics/poster shops out there.

 

Description and Foreword: 8/10

I love your description. It really caught my attention, making me want to read more. I think it would be better though if you stick with black as your font color. I don't know why you chose that color but it's a little bit distracting, and it doesn't really match the page since the colors were mostly black, so stick with black. It looks boring, I know, but your story is a sad one after all, so dull colors would do the job. You could try increasing the font as well. Maybe the size 16 would do the job. Again, this is just my opinion and I am not forcing you to change things. ^^

Another issue for me is the gif pictures you used. Err, they're a bit distracting. Luhan's gif picture was big, while the other one below was small. Can't you just remove them though? I mean, I can see that you're trying to emphasize the snow, but my eyes didn't like it.

 

Characterization: 9/10

You focused on one character, which is Luhan, right? Well, I kind of adore you for that, since his emotions really got into me, and I can almost imagine some of the scenes. Characterization is the way in which authors convey information about their characters. Characterization can be direct, as when an author tells readers what a character is like or indirect, as when an author shows what a character is like by portraying his or her actions, speech, or thoughts. In your case, you portrayed it using Luhan's actions, memories and thoughts. Descriptions of a character's appearance, behavior, interests, way of speaking, and other mannerisms are all part of characterization. as well. You did a good job at this field, especially that way you conveyed his emotions. I think you lack a bit of character development at the first chaptar, but still, I'm giving you a high grade for characterization because it was realistic, to the point that I can relate to most of the scenes. You portrayed the characters' emotions well, you used dialogues to allow a character's words to reveal something important about his or her nature and you gave your characters meaningful names which in your case is Lovisa. Overall, good job.

 

Plot: 35/40