[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for syaadan[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Little Prince's New Toy[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: Little Prince's New Toy

Author: syaadan  

Main Characters: Do Kyungsoo, Park Chanyeol, Byun Baekhyun, Luhan

Genre: Romance, School Life

Status: On-going

Description of Story: Once upon a time, there lived a little prince. His name is Do Kyungsoo. He's handsome, he's cute, he's rich, he's everything that a girl could dream of. His existence is some sort of...perfect. Then one day, he met this girl, all dirty and she looked like a dog being abused in the rain. He decided to help her and he found out that she had no where to stay. He let her stay with him, and she's veeeery grateful. She thought that Kyungsoo is an angel descended from heaven. But, he said that his help is NOT free.In exchange, she must be his TOY. "Lee Jinhee, from now on, I declare you as Do Kyungsoo's official TOY." What on earth does the word TOY for the perfect Do Kyungsoo meant?

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 3/5

Title is good but there's a lot of story around with similar title. I personally think this title's a little clique and not unique it didn't made me to clique instantly on your story but maybe some people won't agree with me. But I would wish for you to choose some better title for your story that will draw many, many readers to read it.

 

Graphics: 9/10

Previously when I clicked on your story you had a poster which I really didn't liked at all, but seeing that you changed it and that you had a background as well I am going to give you mark 8. But I wish if you had choose some different color because I dont think that background is matches well.

 

Description and Foreword: 7/10

We all make some mistakes we are not all so perfect in w riting (even I do so don't take this too personal) but both your description consists too much information and its predctible what will happen with your characters, I would suggest you next time to use a bit short description but very misterious so that would attracted reader to click on your story and to read, more, more and more. I liked how you wroted Foreword I haven't found biggest gramatic mistakes