"Teen Story"

Author: shuwhara

Main Characters: Super Junior

Genre: Friendship

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
One day during break time at Super Junior's waiting room .

Story Title: 3/5

Although ‘Teen Story’ is indeed an appealing story title, I feel that it is not very apt for this story, since suju members have long passes their teenage years and all the drama that happened in your story don’t strike me as very “teenager-ish”. 

Graphics: 0/0

I can’t really judge you for this considering that you do not have a poster/background/banner. However, it is highly advisable to get at least a poster for your story because graphics do make the story seem more engaging. 

Description and Foreword: 5/10

You might have misunderstood the roles of a ‘description’ and a ‘foreword’. Your story description is supposed to provide readers with an overview of the story (i.e. what it is going to be about) but without revealing too much details. On the other hand, what should be written in the foreword is actually your (i.e. the author) opinions about the story, such as your own experiences writing it, or what were the values that you’ve learnt by writing this story. It will be better if you switch your current story description and foreword.

Regarding your current foreword (suggested to be changed to the description instead), perhaps you can give readers a little more hint about how your story is going to turn out. Other that just saying “It was just like other Sunday morning…..” (NOTE: It should be ‘It was just like any other Sunday morning”), I guess it’ll be better if you can use quotes from your story and put them here. This will augment the whole suspense level of your story.

Regarding your current description (suggested to be changed to the foreword instead), I feel that you should add in more of your reflections on this story. It’s indeed a great achievement to be able to attain an A* for your essay assignment but this information does not contribute anything to your story. Always remember, WHATEVER THAT YOU WRITE HAS TO BE RELEVANT TO YOUR STORY. That’s the golden rule. :) 

Characterization: 6/10

I like the way you portrayed Leeteuk — through his inner thought, I could really see how much he cared for suju, s, and their fans. However, the characterisation for the other characters, namely Eunhyuk, Kyuhyun and Shindong are lacking. I would have expected to see more descriptions of their reactions when their relationship was still tense. Since this story is written in Leeteuk’s POV, it’s not legit to write about how the other members felt about the incident, but I feel that it is still necessary to explain to the readers their sentiments, perhaps through their facial expressions or