"Rainbow Colored Lenses"

Author: EXOcrux

Main Characters: Myungsoo (Infinite, Lay (EXO)

Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Psychological, 

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
Yixing had always associated people with colors. He was sure he had experienced every color possible but when he encountered a 'white', Yixing didn't know how to react. After all, white can turn into any color it wants to be.

Story Title: 4/5

‘Rainbow Coloured Lenses’. As a title, it’s pretty good since the story is based on just that, Yixing’s perception.

Personally, I definitely find the title appealing enough to click on it, but not so much that I’d remember it the next week. The problem is in the phrasing itself since it comes off as a tad bit too ordinary and hence, by extension bland. Also, readers here prefer shorter titles, even if they’ve heard them before. So, there is this chance that the story might get overlooked because of its seemingly bland title.

I’m not going to ask to change the title since it goes with your story, but maybe you could consider something with a bit more pizzazz? It might help in your story getting more viewers and readers.

Graphics: 9/10

There wasn’t any poster for this story, not in the traditional sense anyway, but I liked the extremely colorful, and somewhat erratic, background that you used. I had a feel of the sensory stimulus Yixing received on a daily basis if he wanted to do something as boring as grabbing a cup of coffee at his favorite café. It helped me process and feel the first scene where Yixing nearly had an attack in the café and had to run for it to save himself. For that reason I won’t be stingy and give you a near perfect score. Plus, I like the words in the picture you used as poster. It was fitting and well picked.

Description and Foreword: 9/10

Your description is short and to the point. It gives us a good introduction to what the story is about and if the reader likes stories of that type, they will surely click. So great job.

I really, really, really liked your foreword. It was a small scene from within the story and what was the most intriguing thing for me was the last time.

‘I’m making a new cookie cutter.’

To say that in that situation was so novel and strange. It doesn’t fit. Which means it was definitely meant metaphorically and as a reader, the curiosity to find out ‘why’ sold the story to me. So awesome job!

Characterization: 9/10

It was a short story. So there wasn’t all that much time to waste/spend to characterize all your recurring characters but what you did was form Yixing to perfection. I fell in love with his character, rainbow coloured lenses and all. I sympathized with him; I felt his pain. In the moment when everything turned to black, I felt his desperation and his fear. So great job.

On the other hand, even Myungsoo, who only really spoke near the end, that too horrendous stuff, I felt my emotions respond to him too. The moment when he sai