[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for nfhafiza[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]As Long As You Love Me[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: As Long As You Love Me

Author: nfhafiza

Main Characters: EXO Kai, EXO Kris, OC

Genre: Drama, Romance

Status: Completed

Description of Story: Because when you’re sixteen, you make mistake. Exactly what Kim Jong In was doing. To pursue his dream, he gave everything up. His school, his time, his family, and his loved one. Or at least that's what she thought. 

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 3/5

The title is a little too long for my tastes and fairly common here on AFF, but I will give you points because it does make the readers who have heard the song of the same name think of the song and that alone may be enough to make them click on your story if they were to see it in the Kai tag. (Personally, I couldn’t stop singing the song the whole time I was reading.xD)

I’m not sure how relevant it is to the story yet, since I haven’t started reading at this point, but it seems like it would be really simple to tie it into a nice love story where maybe one of the characters is going through a really rough time, but they aren’t bothered by it because they have their lover. Or maybe even a story where one character is in pain because this other character is in love with them and all they want to do is move on. Thinking of it like that, it could easily peak readers’ interest as they wonder how it connects to your story. 

 

Graphics: 6/10

I don’t like to grade on posters during reviews because a lot of authors don’t make their own posters, but since it’s on the shop rubric I’m gonna talk a little bit on the poster here, as a graphic artist.

First things first, when you first click on a story (after reading the title and looking at tags, of course.) what’s the first thing you’ll see? The poster, assuming that they have one. Taking this into consideration, you want the poster to be big enough that you can see it clearly and that it has enough on there to look at and appreciate. 

That being said, the poster for your story is a little on the small side. Just looking at it, it seems that you (I’m assuming you made the poster yourself since there weren’t credits to anyone else on the page or poster itself, but forgive me if I’m wrong please.) opened the picture of the girl and then added Kai on top of it. The only problem with doing it this way is that in all of the editing programs I’ve used, when you open a picture, the canvas becomes that size and even if you enlarge the picture, it will still have to fit in that frame and anything outside of it will be cut off. Because of that, your poster can end up way too small if the picture you open first isn’t big enough. What you’d want to do instead is make a new, blank project first and then add all of the pictures you want to use on top of it and size them appropriately. I tend to make my normal vertical posters 525x605 or 500x600. For my horizontal posters, I use a 735x525 canvas. 

You did very well cropping and blending Kai’s picture in, so I had to give you points in this section for that alone. Blending was the hardest thing for me to get when I first started making posters, so I’m kind of jealous at how well done your picture of Kai is. Lol. The only problem here is that Kai’s coloring is so much different from the picture beneath it that it looks really off. This is easily fixed without doing much if you use Photoshop or GIMP (I myself prefer PS CS6 over GIMP, but GIMP is extremely useful for starting out, in my opinion.) by going through the resource shops here on AFF and finding coloring packs (PSDs) that you like and just laying them over your finished product. Just make sure to ask permission before using someone else’s PSD so that way there are no hard feelings on either end.:) 

Those were the main issues with your poster, although in the future I would recommend looking around online for different fonts to use for the title because, while very pretty, the fonts you used are kind of boring just because they are very basic fonts that come standard on most computers. This is more of just a little thing I’ve heard a lot on here from other graphic designers rather than something you’d absolutely have to do, but I do find that having new and different fonts makes the poster look much fancier once it’s finished. 

 

 

Description and Foreword: 7/10

I give you full points on your description, because it was just beautiful. I really liked it. My only negative comment is that you should try to decide on a past or present tense here – I saw sentences which did not have the same tenses. Be sure to correct out even the smallest of details – it really pays.

Example:
They end up communicating through an umbrella.
Both did not know that Kris’s act of aggression towards himself would trigger such a blossoming relationship as this. 

 

Characterization: 8/10

I like that you tried to set your characters up early on in the story. Lisa was obviously very stubborn with a lot of emotion that she couldn’t quite handle and it was portrayed very well at first. You could tell that, even after four years, she was still hurting and still wasn’t sure how to feel about Kai and that was a very real feeling. When someone you care about hurts you, it isn’t something you can easily get past. It takes a lot of hard work from both parties to take the pain away so you can move on and it was very clear that even if Lisa really wanted to move past it, more than anything else in the world, she wouldn’t be able to unless Kai wanted to as well. That put her in a hard place and set up a great obstacle for her to overcome so I was very pleased with it. 

However, it felt like things went way to smoothly after the third chapter or so. They both re