"Getting my revenge on Park Chanyeol"

Author: b1a4cake

Main Characters: Baekhyun, Chanyeol, OC

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Romcom

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
Three years ago, Chanyeol took everything and left for Seoul in pursue of his dreams of becoming a singer, leaving his extremely supportive girlfriend behind. 
Three years ago, Tae Mi, a diligent and hardworking girl, gave every she had to support his boyfriend's dreams. Even in exchange for her own.
And a long time ago, Baekhyun, son of Byun Entertainment, the wealthiest entertainment company in Korea, had watched Tae Mi grew from scraped knees to broken hearts as he helplessly gave his heart to her. 
What happens when the three of them meet once again in Seoul University Of Performing Arts? 
"Baek- Baekhyun." 
"Hmmm?" he hummed, his brows furrowed with concern. 
"I have a favour to ask from you." I wiped away the hot tears streaking down my face. His eyes gave away his interest. 
"He- help me... get my revenge on Park Chanyeol." 
*** 
"I know!" Inkye suddenly jumps, "how about... you and Baekhyun pretend? You know? Pretend to be lovers and make Chanyeol jealous?" she smirked.
Me? ... and Baekhyun? Together?!

Story Title: 3.5/5

When I saw the title for the first time, I was left with mixed feelings. It didn’t impress me on a creative level, and really left nothing to my imagination but it attracted me on a more impulsive level. Like Vanilla ice cream, it’s something which I won’t LOVE, but I’d still happily eat. So, the title truthfully is pretty good– it’s direct, simple, relates to the story and pretty much is like the many stories that get a lot of attention on AFF, which is great, but that also makes the title a clichéd one. However, since ‘Vanilla’ works just fine I’m not going to ask you to make ‘Peppermint with chocolate-chips’.

Graphics: 8/10

I liked the graphics. It was cute and like the cover of the funny rom-com type Disney stories which works. The story, from the feel of it is aimed at a younger audience and the general feel of the poster considering that is good. But I need to ask, why did you use the image of the pink-stained night sky as background? At first glance it looked a pretty strange since the background gave the feel of a fantasy story, or maybe a futuristic one, compared to the bright, cutesy poster. Still… it was not all that off putting, so good job on asking for the right type of poster!

Description and Foreword: 8/10

The description was a very good. It was a short look into what the story will be basically about and introduces the characters briefly. So, short, sweet, simple and interesting. I would click the subscribe button for sure. So for that, thumbs up. But, there were two small errors, probably just accidental. Normally I wouldn’t bother too much with it, but fact is that as short as the forward was, there shouldn’t be any mistakes. Your description and then the foreword (should you choose to add one) are the first samples potential readers see of your writing – it’s as much a measure of your skill and finesse as it is the story’s introduction. So, even if you mess up stuff inside the story that is more forgivable than making even a hair’s breadth of error in the description. It must be pristine.

Original – gave every(?) she had to support (his) boyfriend's dreams [1.wrong word, 2.wrong pronoun ]
Revised – gave everything she had to support her boyfriend's dreams

Original – I (wipe) away the hot tears streaking down my cheeks [Tense. The other narratives are in past tense, so this should be in past too]
Revised – Wiped 

Characterization: 6/10

Sorry for the average grade but you actually didn’t do much fleshing out in terms of characterizations. I thought Tae Mi was changing but here I see her revert back to the way she was at the beginning of the story. Baehyun is the self sacrificing Prince Charming which is nice if he’s actually has Cinderella dying to be with him. His character needs to change NOW! He needs to grow a selfish side, fast. Chanyeol is a right (excuse the language) and congratulations on making me HATE his guts. That was good feat. For the other characters, they are stock so I won’t judge them, but you left the main two char