"Exchange"

Author + Co-author: februarybaby and deejaykwon

Main Characters: Kim Taehyung, Kwon Dayoung, Jiyong, Dara, Zhang Yixing, and Lee Chaerin

Genre: Alternate Universe, Family, Fantasy/Supernatural, Friendship, Mystery

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
A tooth for a tooth.
An eye for an eye.
but here...
A soul for a soul.

Story Title: 3/5

A title is a story’s first impression. People make a first impression with appearance, wardrobe and body language. Stories do it with a title, that's why titles are extremely important. A title creates anticipation and expectation or, perhaps, disinterest. Often the title is what will determine whether or not someone reads a story. Let's think of it as the first step in officially advertising/promoting your story. It's with an attractive title that makes a reader want to read a story, to be honest. Here in Asianfanfics.com, stories are commonly placed in section through tags, or through categories in general. Frankly, there are thousands of stories here on AFF, so clearly, there's no assurance that you're story'll be read by readers' that suddenly. So yeah. You have to really do a good job with choosing the right title.

For one, I still can't decide whether or not your title is relevant to your story. There wasn't any exchange or some sort that was explained in your first chapter, but I believe that there's something deep behind that title of yours. I guess I'll have to read and see at the next few chapters. As for the uniqueness of the title, well it's not unique since that kind of title is a bit overused; however, I definitely got intrigued by it. It was also connected with your description since you talked about an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and a soul for a soul, hence the exchange. So far, I haven't grasped the relevance yet, but it did intrigued me, although I think that there's a better title more suitable for your story. Something that's deep and sophisticated yet unique and relevant. But then again, it's your choice so yeah. I'm not saying that you should change your title of something. I'm just saying that I'm not fullu satisfied with the title. It all falls upon your hands. Again, it's your choice.

Remember that titles have always been important. Everyone knows that. The problem is deciding just what constitutes a “good” title – keeping in mind that fashions for titles change at least as frequently as fashion for shoes. Furthermore, a good title must fulfill multiple functions. It must have some relationship to the content of the story it designates. It must be notable, comparatively unique, attractive to potential readers, and nowadays, it must also work-well for on-line search engines. Fulfilling all these functions can be difficult, to say the least.

Graphics: 4/10

I'm  not really into poster reviews, but I have to say that I don't fancy your poster, mainly because it doesn't suit the overall plot. First of all, based on what I've read from your first chapter, I'm pretty sure that this is a dark fiction because of the Mundanes, witches, and other species mention at the first chapter. Secondly, you've talked a lot about demons, so naturally, I have to assume that this is a dark fic indeed. Moreover, your poster looks so casual. It looked more angsty as well, which is not really what you want your readers to assume with your story. Normally, readers would get attracted with posters, and sometimes, they get wrong impressions with the graphics. Personally, I think you should ask for another poster, something that had black as the main color in the story. You should make sure that it looks creepy or something. Make sure that the characters you will put at the poster is a bit serious looking, since the story sounds serious. I mean, you were talking about creatures and abominations. There were some action parts as well, I bet, since you've said something about a war.

Moreover, the poster had flowers around it, and some white blotch tinting around the poster. It was distracting to be honest. Sandara and the other girl at the middle looked awkward as well. If I were you, I could've used some pictures from Big Bang's music video which is "Fantastic Baby". There were scenes there that Jiyong was sitting in a throne. It would help since he's the king in the story, right? But then again, I think you should've just put the girl, who is the OC I presume, and Taehyun in the poster since I'm assuming that they're the main characters? The poster looked a bit crowded to be honest. All in all, I think it's best to request to another poster shop, or better yet, request at the same poster shop you have for the current poster. Just tell them what you want it to look like and such. Tell them your preference and not what I've said, although do make sure that it looks dark and creepy though since that'll point out the main genres of the story. Oh and don't forget to request for a matching background as well. That would add to the attractiveness of your story since your readers won't be staring at your poster most of the time.​

Description and Foreword: 5/10

Descriptions and forewords are important factors since you are mainly marketing/attracting your potential readers into reading your story. A description is your chance to speak directly to your readers about why you wrote the story, what it’s about, and why it’s important. As it is an introduction to your story, a description should include information about the plot. For instance, you should give a brief description of the story; the main characters, or themes. Give just enough to get the reader interested in reading more; don’t give anything away. Make sure your description fits all the elements of your story. I've read stories before wherein their description was indeed interesting, but once I read the story, I was disappointed because it wasn't connected, and it really didn't match my expectations. Make it sound as unique as possible. It's what usually readers are after once they visit your story, so if your description is more than enough to attract them, they might read your story. You should also describe the story along with the characters. Remember not to put too much information as it may ruin the surprise/twist of the story. Basically, the description is a short summary of the story itself; however, it is what comes out of the listing pages here on AFF, so it's better to make it as unique as possible so readers would be attracted into reading it.

Your description was fine I guess. You used Hammurabi's famous paraphrase which is "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth". It did intrigue me especially the last line you put which is "A soul for a soul". That was kind of new, but it did sound interesting. However, I think it would've been better if you added more lines. It was too short, and I couldn't help but feel like it lacks something. Moreover, you mentioned the line "but here..." which sounded weird to be honest. Where was the 'here' you were talking about? You could've stated it like 'an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth', then at next few lines would be how the Mundanes were as well as the C'reatures; though just a slight bit of information so the twists wouldn't be ruined. Then you mention something about the Avillion, which I assume is the 'here' you were talking about, then end it with 'a soul for a soul'. Well, that's for me. It's your choice though.

As for the foreword. I couldn't help but find it weird. The description of the terms were too short, which basically was not enough of an information to get me through the story. It would be best if you describe them in two max three sentences. Moreover, I don't think they were really elaborated at the first chapter. Honestly, I got a bit confused with whose human and whose the demon. I don't think you mentioned a Sucubus as well. I also suggest putting up an author's note to tell your readers what inspired you and such. ​I don't think you should entitle them as "Vocabulary (words will be used in the story)". Why not try putting a simple word like "Guide:". It's simple, yet understandable that those words were somekind of footnotes to guide the reader through the story. Explaining them for a bit would help the reader understand the story more, and since this is a fantasy story, I think it's better if the reader has a slight background regarding the types of creatures and characters in the story. It's a relief that you didn't describe the specific characters such as Jiyong in your foreword. That's would be a bit vulgar.

A foreword is a usually short piece of writing sometimes placed below your description. Typically written by someone other than the primary author of the story, it often tells of some reason as to why the author wrote the story. It is written by the author of the story and generally covers on how the story came into being or how the idea for the story was developed, and may include thanks and acknowledgments to people who were helpful to the author during the time of writing (credits). Also, as much as possible, avoid putting unnecessary words like "OMG! My first story eva! Please read and support this story! Thank you!" I think it's a bit unprofessional. Try putting something like how you came up with the story. Try explaining some deep words you may have used in the story, how you came up with this plot in the first pl