Author: pinoypower

Main Characters: Yoo Sunhee (you) and Kai

Genre: Angst and Romance

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
Who knew that a love story could end in just eleven steps?

Story Title: 4/5

Eleven steps… A simple, elegant, and somewhat beautiful title that perfectly describes your story. A lot of people name their stories with long and fancy words, but just because it’s long and fancy doesn’t always mean it will be a good title that will leave an impression on the readers. Sometimes, it’s best to keep it simple.

Now, although your title is fairly simple, it has this sort of inner beauty to it. Despite the straightforwardness of your title, just one glance and you feel like there’s so much more than just those two, lucid words you used.

I did knock off a point from the score though, because it’s not really an original title. I’ve seen many other stories entitled with similar names to yours, proven by the many others fanfics and stories that showed up as I searched up your title in google. Other than that, I still love your title to bits, it’s so beautiful and suits your story perfectly.

Graphics: 8/10

The poster is beautiful. Whoever made your poster definitely chose the right colour to use, the right images to use and even the font is beautiful. Therefore, the poster emits the right mood that matches the sad and regretting emotions in your story. I like the classy and almost mysterious vibe of the poster, especially that clock up on the right hand corner. It’s almost like a symbol of how you can’t turn back time, just like you can’t re-walk those eleven steps you already took.

The background is pretty as well…if it’s on its own. Though I really like the smudging and glowing effect on the words ‘eleven steps’, it looks kind of messy if I wasn’t looking at it closely, almost as if there was white paint smudged over the brown wallpaper. I have this feeling that the person who designed the background used the smudge tool to create that glowing effect, but I don’t think it works well as a background since the background’s not meant to stand out; its only there to make your story look less dull and boring.

I found the background a little distracting as I scrolled down your story. It’s that feeling where you’re trying to read something, but there’s this blob of white in the corner of your eye that makes you feel slightly uncomfortable. I really like the brown wallpaper though, It’s a perfect match with your poster and is a beautiful background to use.

I think it’ll be better if the glowing effect on the words was removed, or you could even remove any words from the background. Don’t get me wrong; the background by itself is pretty, but since it’s a background, I do think it could be made more subtle to become more pleasing to the eye.

Description and Foreword: 8/10

I love your description. Once again, it’s fairly simple, but for such an elegant story like yours, all you really need is a simple description. What I love so much about your description is that you weren’t telling me what was going to happen in the story, instead, you showed me what I would be expecting if I read the story. I really like the way you lay out your description, and below is a revised version of how I think it could be expressed better, but your original description is already good enough so this is just suggestion of how it could be improved.

Original:
One step.
Two steps.
A few more and I'll reach the door. The rain outside is just making this more dramatic. I never imagined to leave just like this.
Three steps.
Four, five, six.
Just five more and I'll be gone.
Seven, eight.
Nine.
Ten.
Ele-

Revised:
One step.
Two steps.
A few more and I'll reach the door.
Three steps.
The rain outside is just making this more dramatic.
Four, five, six.
Just five more and I'll be gone.
Seven, eight.
I never imagined to leave just like this.
Nine.
Ten.
Ele-

So basically, I just chopped up your sentences a little and arranged it a little differently since I think it sounds more structured this way. But as I stated above, I don’t think it’s necessary to use my version of your description. Your original one is perfectly fine.

As for your foreword, there is nothing much I can pick on. Once again, it’s simply structured, but as I mentioned gazillion times before, it suits your story. I like the quotes you added in the foreword, it adds to the sentimental mood of your story.

One thing that could be improved on is I noticed you provided links for your credits in their full url form. That can come as a bit messy, and I saw that you had already linked the url in the names of the shops that provided their services for you. I don’t think it’s necessary to include the full url of the shops since you’ve already linked back to them, so I think it’s best if you just kept the links nice and simple.

Characterization: 8/10

Your characters are portrayed very well, so well that I’m left with almost nothing to criticize about in this section. The only thing that I can comment on is to bring more personality to your characters. Though your characters are well-rounded, they are a little bit too round (if you get what I mean).

Though your characters are comfortable to read, I’m having a hard time finding distinctive words to describe them. For instance, the personality of the main character is very much smothered by her emotions causing her to act a certain way. Even the most cheerful person will have their depressed moments where they gloom around all day, but these few hours of gloom isn’t their true personality. Yoo Sunhee is portrayed as tired and worn-out from her painful relationship with Jongin, but what is her personality behind the mask of her emotions? Through the flashbacks, I see that she is playful and cute around Jongin. Although that may be her personality,