"On Pointe"

Author: iLupinus

Main Characters: Fem!Sehun, Kai

Genre: Angst, Family, Friendship, Gender Bending, Romance, Schoollife

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
Life is one giant balancing act, and each step must be taken with care because it's all too easy for one to slip and fall off the tightrope. The world is watching and waiting; don't be the first one to fall.

Story Title: 5/5

I personally really like the title! It may have something to do with my affinity for two-worded titles, but I think it is a great way to start a story; had I stumbled upon this fic, I would have clicked on the link without a second thought just because of the title. I think it is pretty amazing how you created a title that kind of relates to the story immediately upon reading (what with On Pointe being a ballet term) without disclosing any major plots in the story. I have yet to find out whether or not the title has any other connections to the plot as a whole, but maybe it has something to do with the 'fall' you talked about in the Description? Since On Pointe means 'on your tiptoes'. Either way, the title is great and I have no complaints on this.

Graphics: 10/10

As I have said in my previous reviews, I am not a professional in the graphic area so since you have both a poster and a background, I am giving you full marks! On another note, the poster is really nicely done.

Description and Foreword: 8/10

Before heading into the content of your description and foreword both, I would like to commend you for making both of them look aesthetically pleasing to the eyes. I really like how neat it looks, and that is saying a lot since I freak out at the littlest mess. My only advice is to distinguish the description both to the author's notes. I can see in your chapters that you made them a size smaller, and I would advise that too for the front page. It is not exactly a concern, seeing as how you put the author's notes in the foreword section—but I still think that it would be better for there to be a different look (dark grey color? Smaller size? Different font?) to it, since the author's notes is not exactly a part of the story.

Onto the actual content, I actually like it. It really has this appeal that makes me want to read more and not turn back, which is a really important quality to have in the front page. It really shows your writing ability and I have little to no complaints on it. If there is anything I can comment on, it is on how you phrase it instead of what is in it. For the first part of the description, you repeated the phrase: '...the world is watching and waiting...' and while I usually love repetitions (I personally think that they give off great emphasis), I don't feel that it feels quite right in this context. That aside, though, the rest is pretty much perfect. I really like this particular sentence: 'With each person comes a story, and with each story comes a tightrope as we try to survive the balancing act called life.'. Below is a little revision.

(Description)

Life is one giant balancing act, and each step must be taken with care. It's all too easy for one to fall off the tightrope, and the world is watching and waiting to see who will slip up first. With each person comes a story, and with each story comes a tightrope as the we try to survive the balancing act called life. The world is watching and waiting for the first one to fall.

(Revised)

Life is one giant balancing act, and each step must be taken with care. It's all too easy for one to fall off the tightrope, and everyone is sitting tight as to not. With each p