"Final Leap"

Author: MiaMae14

Main Characters: Yuzuru Hanyu, Suho

Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Romance, Tragedy

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
The boy that doesn't want to live falls for the boy without a choice.

Story Title: 4/5

I actually really like your title and I find that it suits the angst theme you have. To be honest though I didn’t make the connection to Yuzuru because I was wondering who he was. Then it clicked and then I realized he’s the dude that kpop fans went nuts over even though he’s not actually an idol. For that, his occupation as an ice skater really connects with the title as it talks about leaping and so the relevance is on par. In terms of originality and uniqueness, I’d say this is well done, the only reason why I don’t give full marks because the title doesn’t pull me in, not right away at least when I first read it.      

Characterization: 10/10

Your characters, I swear, I want to wrap them both into sushi rolls and just protect them from the world (and I mean this as a good thing because omg, I love them so much I want to cry).

You’re able to spin the characters so wonderfully that I don’t find any problems with their progression. In fact the timing is very nice as you do indicate months and days passing, and their relationship development with one another is just fantastic. I find them both unique and you’ve adequately made them your own, you’re able to divulge into the emotions and thus create a deeper connection to the characters.    

Plot: 37/40

From start and beginning, it was enticing and able to pull readers in. In fact I find the development very nicely done and the way you’re able to pull in snippets from the past and tie it into the overall story is seriously just lovely. While the plot has similar aspects in terms of someone dying, I find that you spin it and make it different and interesting from other stories, so much so, I actually flipped over the way the story ended. 

Which leads me to say that the ending is sort of a cliff hanger, as you’ve given readers the of the story, but then there’s literally no dénouement aka the falling action so that there’s closure for the readers. What happens to Yuzuru after? This is a question that haunts me because seriously, like I said before, sushi roll ;__; 

Consistency: 4/5

There’s not much elaboration when you’re describing the situation with his father in fact it’s a bit choppy on how you present it:

“Yuzuru's dad fell ill when he entered junior high. It seemed like a bad flu, at first. The true nature of his sickness reared its ugly head soon enough. Yuzuru cried as his dad sang him his favorite lullaby for the last time.” 

It’s literally so short and it’s