Author: KangminBread

Main Characters: Kangin and Sungmin

Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Fantasy/Supernatural, Romance,

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
Needing to fend for himself since a young age Lee Sungmin became an experineced thief. After his biggest theaf he hides at a small town at the countryside where he hears about a mansion said to be haunted, he takes that as the best place to hide and thus he breaks in only to find the mansion is inhabited by Kim Youngwoon, a werewolf.

Story Title: 2/5

I don't understand your title. When I first saw it, I thought it was mistake on the 'et' bit but I guess not. I searched it up and the 'Beauty et Beast' is not Beauty and the Beast in another language other than the 'et' being in French but even so, it wouldn't make sense. Et in French means 'and' so Beauty and Beast isn't grammatically correct either so it would be Beauty et la Beast if you want to mix English and French together.

Instantly the title made me think of Beauty and the Beast so I thought it was highly going to be based off of that (plot line and such) but seeing your poster, you had Sungmin as the beast and Kangin as the werewolf so that was confusing.

Appearance: 3.5/10

a. Poster and Background. 2.5/5

The poster's concept is quite dark, plain and simple using only some attracting decorations and the two main characters in the poster. I'm not saying to make the poster have a lot of characters, decorations in it because I do like the simplistic look. Since this is a Beauty and the Beast inspired story with a slight twist, I wasn't surprised to see roses within the poster. It could be there just to add more feel to the poster but it does relate well the the overall story concept.

It was quite dull, it didn't give me that romantic feel since this is meant to be a story which means this is some romance in it so I felt like a lot of genres were missing from this poster. It was very attracting either, it doesn't fit in with the layout you've chose.

I would suggest in getting a background as well because the background will create more of an atmosphere to the whole story while you're reading the chapters. I use to be a strong believer in not using backgrounds but even when you're putting the poster on each chapter, when you scroll down you won't see it so the background will help benefit the reader enjoy the story more i.e a dark background and the chapter is the of the whole story will be more enjoyable than just having a white background with a gore-ish scene.

b. Lay-out and Formatting. 1/5

The characters were pushed to the back so that meant the sword and rose decoration had more spotlight which I think should be the other way around. I liked how there was a change in fonts for 'Beast', it makes the reader more curious on why you wanted to change the font for it. Also, the sword separates the two characters so each of them is on one side. Sungmin being on the 'Beast' side and Kangin being on the 'Beauty' side which might make one curious.

Also, this is mainly to do with the description but it's more to do with the appearance of the story so I thought I would include it in here as well. The layout you've chosen makes the hard to see the text in the description and foreword plus the extra small text doesn't help as well.

Description and Foreword: 2/10

To be honest, your description was boring. Nothing was interesting nor did anything intrigue me to further read your story. It included some background on the main character, talks about how he got to where he is now and then introduces the second main character. Your story could be the most original and unique story plot out there but if your description or foreword isn't interesting, it's not going to do anything.  I didn't feel the need to continue reading your story because I felt like it was going to be a cliche story that I would find anywhere else on asianfanfics.com and your story may not be cliche but that's what you're presenting to me.

I read your description and it has a lot of grammatical errors throughout which was a big factor that made me feel less interested in your story. You want to present your story well so proofreading your description especially because that's your front cover of your whole story.

Original: Needing to fend for himself since a young age Lee Sungmin became an experineced thief. After his biggest theaf he hides at a small town at the countryside where he hears about a mansion said to be haunted, he takes that as the best place to hide and thus he breaks in only to find the mansion is inhabited by Kim Youngwoon, a werewolf.

Revised: Needing to fend for himself since a young age, Lee Sungmin became an experienced thief. After his biggest theft, he hides in a small town where he hears about a mansion said to be "haunted". Knowing nobody would come near the "haunted" mansion,  he takes that as the best place to hide and thus he breaks in only to find the mansion is inhabited by Kim Youngwoon, a werewolf.

Once again, for your foreword, nothing was interesting. There was nothing that sparked my interest nor did it cause me to gain interest after reading your description.

Original: —A hundred years ago when a pest started to kill people at the nearby towns the wolf had been seen for the last time, for almost a month he was heard howling into the woods and mysteriously the pest had never reached this town, news of it disappearing came in the following months and the citizens believed that it had all been because of that spirit wolf.— The tour guide added looking back at the statue. —Now and then, at night, specially during full moons you can still hear a wolf howling.

That last line had spooked Sungmin. Legends should be all past tense, he wanted to tell the lady, but instead he decided to move away and explore the rest of the town.

The first thing he did was look for the other statues and while he was walking around he saw the famous Lee mansion, the abandoned house was a smudge into the horizon, much further there were woods. Sungmin stood beside the wolf statue and looked at it, afterwards he crouched down and hugged the statue with one arm while still looking at the house.

—So you’ve been guarding it for four hundred years, ye? Say I need a place to stay, you won’t mind letting me rest my bones there, right? I can’t exactly afford to stay in that cute little hotel at the main square.— Sungmin spoke calmly, he patted the statue’s head three times before he stood up. He looked around and decided that his best shot of getting to the house unnoticed was getting there by the woods.

Revised: "A hundred years ago, when a pest started to kill people in the nearby towns, the wolf had been seen for the last time. For almost a month he was heard howling into the woods and mysteriously the pest had never reached this town, news of it disappearing came in the following months and the citizens believed that it had all been because of that spirit wolf," The tour guide added looking back at the statue. "Now and then, at nig