Calling for signupb*tch

"Waiting for Your Call"

Author: signupb*tch

Main Characters: Tao and Kris

Genre: Drama and Romance

Status: Completed

Description of Story:Real events. Real life. Kris left with no words, but he didn't leave with no love.

    Critique:

Story Title: 3.5/5

Title is not attention grabber. If I did not have to review this, I would not have clicked on your story. It is very plain, very simple and not enough to make me “Ah, this is going to be an interesting story.” However, since the title is very relevant to your story, I give you a higher mark. Honestly, I would prefer this than the other story I am currently reading. The other story has a mesmerizing title and yet I am on Chapter 29 and there is no connection to the title whatsoever. It is frustrating me. So congratulations for making your title honest.

 

Graphics: 5/10

I have never had tried to make a poster so sometimes I feel insecure reviewing this section. However, as a reviewer, I ought to review this part no matter how much I am hesitate too. I am sorry but I really did not like this poster. Just like your title, it is plain and simple. When I first saw it I was like...okay. Imagine a plain song. You did not dance to it, right? You were not moved by it, right? It's the same with this poster. I was not moved. I did not feel anything. I don't know. It looks like this poster lacks something. The pictures are not matched for the background of the poster.

Also, as honestly as I can be, an amateur graphic maker can make this. I suggest to have another poster. You really don't have to but yeah...it'd be much better to have a good poster. I mean, let us be honest here: Books are judged by their covers. I am speaking literally here, okay? I bought Defiance by Redwine because the cover was perfect. I am sorry to whoever had made this poster for you.

 

Description and Foreword: 6/10

Description and Foreword are fine. Though it did not pull me to read your story, I appreciated how you have placed the lyrics of the song on the Foreword. Usually, AFFers put the lyrics of the song on the Description which really annoys me because I do not care about those lyrics. I will care about them when they are placed on the foreword. Description should tell what the story is about, not some sort of songs. So kudos to you for using the Description and Foreword in a right way.

 

Characterization: 9/10

This is where you've got a high score. You have good characters. For me, it is not the plot that has driven your characters. It is your characters who have driven the plot. And that is okay. A lot of stories we know today are driven by the characters. Remember this: Plot makes the characters. Characters build the plot.

I like how you have made your characters. They have voices that differentiate them.

Tao is tao.
Kris is Kris.

In some stories. Wait, okay, a lot of fanfic stories here on AFF fall in a category of “I-did-not-justify-my-characters”.
Okay, I made that category but you know what I mean. You have justified your characters. They acted based on the situations, not based on how you want them to act.

A lot of AFF authors make a mistake like this: They make a scene and control their characters.
No. No. No! Treat your characters like human beings. So I applaud you of making scenes where your characters can act on their own. You really did a good job here.

 

Plot: 28/40

Just like what I have said to my previous reviews, I am not looking for an original story. No such thing exists anymore! All of stories you are told are based or inspired by this or that. Your story is not really new. But I really appreciated on how you have made your own twists through your voice as a writer.

Truthfully, you have a talent. You know how to convey emotions (but your awkward sentences prevent me from falling to your writing. I have explained that on Grammar and Writing Style) and that is where you are good at. The problem is, you explain too much. Too much that it leaves no room for me to breathe in (you know what I mean, right?) your story. Sometimes, the lesser, the better.

I can see though that with more polishing and more practicing, you will be a better author. You are good now, believe me but of course, just like every one else in this world, you need to overcome hardships in order to become a better person.

 

Consistency: 2/5

I don't know but I have this vibe that you are trying, forcing this story to be dramatic. Well, I can understand you since this story is really supposed to be dramatic but...it kinda feels too forced, you know? Maybe it is just me. Don't get me wrong, please. It's just that I have read a lot of books and have watched a lot of movies ( I am a novel reviewer and a movie reviewer and so I am ought to read and watch a lot).

Here's a tip: Sometimes, the lesser, the better. With such long sentences, the scenes just drag on. The emotions I was supposed to feel just faded. I was waiting for this scene to end.

Have you ever watched a death scene wherein a character talks a lot? That character talks a lot and I am like: “Just die already!” I have empathy. But the character just needs to die. If you drag on a scene, the sadness will be gone. It was how I have felt with yours. While reading, I was feeling sad but it just took too long before it ended and I was like: “When will this end?” Please, don't hate me for saying that. It's just my honest thoughts. To know more about your consistency, please read the Grammar and Writing Style section.

 

Readers' Response: 3.5/5

I am quite surprised of how few comments you have for this story. You've got the tagging right; in fact, you have EXO as the main characters so I don't know what is wrong here. Maybe next time, you need to advertise your story.

Say, suggest your story to your AFF friends. Trust me. Those who are popular here have so much friends. And what is the benefit of having friends? Well, what else but they will support you! So make friends! But don't just make friends just for the sake of your stories. Be genuine. And they will like you. After making friends, maybe you could post a blog about your story and who knows. One might stumble on your story and subscribe. You could also try to request an advertisement on advertisement shops. Some of them have high fees though so if you do not have that much karma points, perhaps you could look for advertisement shops that do not have huge fees. If you have enough karma points to advertise your story on AFF story bid, why not try it? It's worth a shot!

These are just suggestions. I am hoping that a lot more of AFFers will read your stories.

 

Grammar and wri