[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for LostHuman[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Elusive Love[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: Elusive Love

Author: LostHuman

Main Characters: Luha, Sehun, Jisoo (OC)

Genre: Drama, Romance

Status: On-going

Description of Story: ELUSIVE LOVE. A kind of love that can be filled with lies and deception. A kind of love that can't be trusted. A kind of love that can't be considered as true. But what if one day, this Elusive Love can be the only thing that can save you? People are often deluded with falling in love, they won't think twice and act irrationally with the thought that they are doing the right thing since they are doing this for the person that they love. But love can be also a delusion made by our minds, a sweet delusion that can turn into a nightmare, a nightmare that we'd wish that we could erase. But erasing that nightmare would also erase the whole reason why love existed in the first place.

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 4/5

I like your title. It was very relevant to the story, since the word elusive means 'difficult to find, catch, or achieve,' and one can relate it to the description or foreword of the story. I kind of admire you for using such a word, instead of rather common words/synonyms of elusive like unreachable, momentary, etc.

 

Graphics: 7/10

I guess the designer did a good job with your poster, but it would have been better if it has a complementing background, your readers won't be able to see your poster at all times, and getting a background may add to your effects.

For your poster, like what I've said before, it was good, but I personally think that the sunflower at the bottom part of the poster ruined the colors. The shade of violet didn't really complement the rest of the colors, and I would've preferred if a simple white sunflower was used. But overall, the design was good, especially how it portrayed your main genres, which are drama and romance. The characters weren't smiling, which is a plus, and the colors of their clothes matched well. All in all, my only problems are the sunflower and the background.

 

Description and Foreword: 6/10

First off all, I really appreciate your effort in putting nice lay-outs for the description and foreword, however, it didn't really look that well. It rather messed up the appearance a bit, so I recommend you to fix them. One would be the titles like the ones you put for "Elusive Love" and "Prolouge." Since you've aligned the rest of the texts below it in the center, align the title at the center as well. It would look better and consistent. Next is the color. Your poster has a color of somewhat gold or light brown or sth, so I think it's best if you replace the blue text color of the title with it, complementing your poster's color scheme.

Second issue would be your description. It was attractive, I admit. The way you relayed it was simply overwhelming, and it increases the readers' interest. I also like the fact that you put the necessary information, instead of putting almost all of the scenes, decreasing the surprise factor of the story. Also, why did you italicized your description? I can't see the point of doing so, and I think that a normal text would look better. Don't forget to put periods at the end of your sentences as well.

Third issue would be your borders. I admit, the dividers you used made your story look good. However, you overused it. It took too much of space, and when three borders were visible in the screen, it looked a bit displeasing in my eyes, but maybe it's just me, so don't feel discouraged.

Fourth issue would be your character chart. The design was nice, but it took a lot of unnecessary space. It would have been better if it was made horizontally, with at least 3 characters on one line, making use of the blank spaces at the side. But honestly though, I don't think you even need a character chart, since it didn't really help, expecially the 'unknown persons part.' It would be best if they were introduced in the story itself, creating a surprise factor for your story.

Fifth issue would be your Prolouge. I think it's best if you provide a chapter for it instead of putting it in the foreword. Hahaha. I'm not sure with this one though. It might be because I'm used to reading stories without a prolouge at the foreword, so it's your choice. I just think that it might be better if it was one of the chapters instead, since it's kind of long, and it provided a bit of information of what's to happen in the story, which decreases the surprise factor, like I've said before. Oh and you capitalized the word "Love" in your foreword, at the middle part. Haha.

That's all for the description and foreword I guess.

 

Characterization: 7.5/10

I kind of admire how you started the story of how they were back then before the "incident" happened, but I think I would prefer if you started it with what she was at the present, and maybe putting some flashbacks here and there relaying of their past. This is just me, though, and since you've already started it with that kind of format, let's just shrug this comment of mine.

First of all, what does characterization do for a story? In a nutshell, it allows us to empathize with the protagonist and secondary characters, and thus feel that what is happening to these people in the story is vicariously happening to us. In your case, you did portray Jisoo's character well that it gives a resemblance of living reality. An important part of characterization is dialogue, for it is both spoken, and inward dialogue that afford us the opportunity to see into the characters' hearts and examine their motivations. You did well at this point, describing their emotions well. In the best of stories, it is actually characterization that moves the story along, because a compelling character in a difficult situation creates his or her own plot.

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