[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for ookami-girl[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]BONDS[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: BONDS

Author: ookami-girl

Main Characters: Kim JongDae, EXO-K

Genre: Angst

Status: Completed

Description of Story: Love is a decisive thing. It can blind your eyes and hold your heart. But isn't it better to love than to never have loved at all? Maybe it's not for this case because the only thing that came with this love is pain and betrayal. Kai, Sehun, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Suho are a small pack of wolves and live in EXO district "K". They have been together as a group since they were young and the relationship they have with each other are just like a families. One day they find a wounded wolf in their territory; physically and emotionally hurt the wolf is far from being fine. The pack is afraid to take in new people; the trust they had when they were younger is fragile and delicate, easily broken by mistrust and fear. But can they really abandon an injured wolf? But even if they take him in, will the pack be able to save the wolf?

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 4/5

For your title; BONDS it's inbetween common and not common, since you just used it singular it would be not-common (as a title in AFF) but for the common part, it is used alot in titles i.e Stronger Bonds, Immortal Bonds ect ect. Even so it does fit in very well with your story ^^ I liked how you put it in CAPS as it does catch your readers attention. 

 

Graphics: 9/10

It's not the best but it's not the worst either, it gave off an angst feel so that was good. The only problem was when it came to the pictures and how transparency/opacity they were ment to have, it wasn't right. The legs of Kai,D.O and one I can't make out XD are covering Chen's eyes, making it look unprofessional and not really nice. I liked how at the bottom you had snow as it was winter-based season for this story. As I say for every review I seriously don't give a single @#!#@$` for the backgrounds, unless it's like horror and really strong angst then you definitely need one XD. I think your one was fine but if you do want one because your story does have a little angst and blood and violence in it, then maybe a black faded with your title in red dripping ^^ 

 

Description and Foreword: 8/10

When I read your beginning (the love ect ect bits) I thought this story/fanfic was going to be a romance fluffy based story but I was wrong, I think you should've put something that was related to family or bonding ^^ Then you wrote the summary about the story which is completely fine ^^ Just some small tiny grammar errors:

They have been together as a group since they were young and the relationship they have with each other are just like a families. -> ever since 

physically and emotionally hurt the wolf is far from being fine. -> physically and emotionally hurt, the wolf is far from being fine.

 

Characterization: 10/10

I think pretty much you described character really well, you did write some bits in the foreword about their eyes which I completely ignored ^^ XD LOL , I really don't really care for how there eye color is and their power,whenever someone does write something like that I just ignore it, I find it really boring. I think you kind of left everybody but Kai out on describing their character in the chapter; basiclly i mean that you explained Kai's character really well but towards the other memebers it was kinda 'eh'. I could tell Suho was smart and could put pieces together easily ... and that Baekhyun and Chanyeol were in a relationship and .. that's it XD Now I know some people don't really care for the characters but still maybe put some in ^^

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter