Calling for Iluvbigbang123

"The Angel of Revenge"

Author: Iluvbigbang123

Main Characters: Kris from EXO-M, EXO-K, Hwayoung (OC)

Genre: Fantasy/Supernatural, Romance

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
" Most people think that he's a devil, but to me, he's an angel that will make my dreams come true." - Hwa Young

  Critique:

Story Title: 4/5

I liked this title quite a bit. It was direct and when read with the description, tells you immediately that it refers to a character. Hence, nothing is left to be wanted. Also, this exact wording is new to AFF. Good job!

 

Graphics: (2.5+2.5+1) = 6/10

I’m dividing this section into 3 parts: 2 posters + matching background. You have two posters, one only for the ending 2 chapters with them together and one as the front cover. The poster was okay, it showed all the characters, but weren’t Kris’s wring black? The main poster also has ornate gates, to symbolize the gates separating Hell and the land of the living I expect. I personally preferred your second poster to the first, but either way, nice posters. You didn’t use any matching background though however. A dark background of some sort would’ve enhanced the stories attitude. 

 

Description and Foreword: 8/10

The opening statement was perfect. It refers to the theme that’ll follow in the body of the story also manages to act as foreshadow of the endings. (Throughout the story she does many things she wouldn’t have thought possible, only dreamt of, one of them is easily seeing her dad again. Ps. I’m ignoring the decision A. I /refuse/ to acknowledge it. 

 

Characterization: 8/10

You did a superb job at showing us their emotions and their personalities through dialogue and point of views. I had no trouble identifying with any of the characters. I saw them an understood them. Although, Kai seemed a little rushed, comparatively.

Oh and for Kris, I have a complaint. In ch 9 when Hwa Young agrees to be his friend he just gives her a crushing bear hug. I mean, that was so out-of-character. He is the cold and reserved angel of revenge handing out divine retribution, for the right cost. A guy like that doesn’t suddenly go cuteness-overload on mortals. Also, the rate when he asked her to be his friend, it was a tad bit too fast. I mean, it was within 48 hours of meeting her or so. So that seemed a little surprising, like getting jumped by casper while walking when it should’ve been his uncles jumping me at the end of the scene. I hope the analogy made sense.

But that aside, I love the /way/ he talks. I love how /all/ your characters speak. Also the sly references you slipped in of Krisyeol. Hehe. *Fist bump*

 

Plot: 26/40

The premise itself is not uncommon and had been done many a times. When I read the description I thought of the anime ‘Black Butler’. When I read about the 12 – 1 am timeframe to invoke on them, I thought of ‘Jigoku Shoujo’. When I heard how he operates, I thought ‘Death Note’. These are all really popular Asian sources, but other than this, the theme is pretty common in the supernatural department. Had it just been for the premise, I’d have scored you much less, but that w