[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for poisonyx[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Poisonyx Mansion: First Edition[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: Poisonyx Mansion: First Edition

Author: poisonyx

Main Characters: EXO (Hunhan, Sulay, Kaisoo, Baekyeol, Taoris, Xiuchen)

Genre: Friendship, Romance,

Status: On-going

Description of Story: No TV. No radio. No newspapers. No telephones. Totally no communication with the outside world. 12 new housemates are ready to face Poisonyx's challenges. Poisonyx's got something new up her sleeve. Take a peek at the house rules the 12 housemates will need to strictly follow in order not be booted out of Poisonyx's house! Welcome and enjoy your stay…

1.     The lifestyle is isolated from the outside world.
2.     The nomination process results to minus points and a certain punishment.
3.     Everything that happens in the house and garden is filmed, 24 hours a day.

Poisonyx depends on you adhering to a strict set of rules and conditions.  Listed below are the things you can and cannot do in the Poisonyx's house. Poisonyx expects you to comply with these rules and reminds housemates that failure to do so could mean severe punishment.

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 4.5/5

The title was unique I have to say. I didn't have to test it's uniqueness by typing it in Google. It was interesting and a bit eye-catching. I would have preferred if you put 'the' at the beginning so it'd be like "The Poisonyx Mansion: First Edition"...... or am I wrong?? Hahaha. I'm not sure myself. >.<

 

Graphics: 6/10

I am a big fan of gif posters. I usually credit them for their hardwork since it usually takes a lot of time before finishing one. Yours though was fine I guess, but it was too crowded. It's not your fault though as well as the designer but normally, readers are attracted on posters so I'd have to grade you on that. It was too crowded. It would have been better if the moving frames above showed individual pictures from the members. It would look like you're showing the participants of the show, right? It could've showed a mansion or something, since the title says something about a mansion... But, oh well..

Oh and I extremely recommend getting a trailer for this! It'd be epic.

 

Description and Foreword: 6/10

The description was fine, but I think you put in a lot of information needed. You could remove the character chart and just introduce the members in the chapter right? I just think that it's a lot of information to take in for the other readers. So in conclusion, I think it's best to remove the character chart and just focus on the rules, etc OR you could do a separate chapter that contains all the rules for the show, like a rule book or something.

 

No TV. No radio. No newspapers. No telephones. Totally no communication with the outside world. 12 new housemates are ready to face Poisonyx's challenges. Poisonyx's got something new up her sleeve. Take a peek at the house rules the 12 housemates will need to strictly follow in order not be booted out of Poisonyx's house! Welcome and enjoy your stay…

1.     The lifestyle is isolated from the outside world.
2.     The nomination process results to minus points and a certain punishment.
3.     Everything that happens in the house and garden is filmed, 24 hours a day.
 
Poisonyx depends on you adhering to a strict set of rules and conditions.  Listed below are the things you can and cannot do in the Poisonyx's house. Poisonyx expects you to comply with these rules and reminds housemates that failure to do so could mean severe punishment.

 

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