Calling for schandelierre

"I Am Happy To Love You"

Author: schandelierre

Main Characters: Kanata Hongo, Kim Joonmyeon

Genre: Angst, Drama,

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
Songri saw Joonmyeon. Songri hated Jonmyeon. Songri loved Joonmyeon.
When someone you loved shattered your life into pieces, would it be possible for you to forgive him and let yourself fall in love again with him? Or would you just keep running away and let the old wound heal by itself, denying your dying need to be with him?
Love is painful, but surely love is beautiful ....

 

  Critique:

Story Title: 3/5

It's not capitalised properly; it should be 'I Am Happy to Love You' instead. You don't need to capitalise every single word. On a different note, however, I think the title is good. It leaves room for questioning and in turn, curiosity. The only thing is that it's a bit long (a mouthful, one could say) since usually titles are quite short so that it's more catchy. But each to his own, I think that you could get away with the title since the words are quite easy to read.

 

Graphics: 7/10

I think that the poster is okay; there are some things to comment on. One of them is that I can't really see your characters clearly since the 'snow' is sort of blurring the main characters. Another thing is that the title of the story is quite hard to see since it doesn't stand out from the poster, perhaps if you made it bolder? Another thing is that your background, isn't really a background. It's an image found on the internet, you could request for a background from some shops on AFF. They usually come with a poster, which could be beneficial if you're going to change your poster- recommended but you don't need to change your poster.

Another thing to mention is that your pictures which you've used for your characters are unnecessarily large. You can easily make them smaller, which would be best since it takes up space and looks a bit messy. I've noticed that you've added characters throughout the story then put their picture in and whatnot; I think it's best if you put all those characters in the description or foreword. Preferably the foreword since that is where the characters are meant to be.

 

Description and Foreword: 6/10

Your description was rather short, and most of it was taken up by all the characters. I think that although it is short, you do have things that are good in it and I think that I have some suggestions for it.

Original: Songri saw Joonmyeon. Songri hated Jonmyeon. Songri loved Joonmyeon.

I actually have no problem with this, in terms of grammar and whatnot since the short sentences has a better effect, the only suggestion I'd have to put forward is that you accentuate the verbs of each sentence by putting them in italics. It stresses the words out, so that the reader will be drawn to it more. Also in the second sentence, you put ‘Jonmyeon’ instead of ‘Joonmyeon’.

Original: Love is painful, but surely love is beautiful ....
Edit: Love is painful, but surely love is beautiful...

When it comes to punctuation, there's no need to have a space before it. Also, ellipses have only three periods, rather than four.

 

Characterization: 7/10

Your main character is very full of himself, I must say. He enjoys attention, and from what I can tell, he enjoys people being