"The Curious Case of the Sasaeng Fan"

Author: Hephaistos

Main Characters: Jongdae (Chen from EXO), OC, G-Dragon

Genre: Jongdae (Chen from EXO), OC, G-Dragon

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
A sasaeng fan is found murdered in her bed, leading Jongdae and OC on a hunt for the killer - meanwhile, The Dragon (GD) is making things harder for them as the druglord of Korea who keeps screwing with the judicial system. Things turn sour and dramatic.

 

 

  Critique:

Character Development: 15/15

a. Unity of the Characters and Their Actions. 5/5

Perfect! It is really well-written! Starting from your OC, I am already loving her and Jongdae. I even found myself wondering what if the real Jongdae has the same y aura that your Jongdae has? You've got Jongdae as your best character. Given that he has a respectable position as a detective, you've managed to pull off a Detective Jongdae that is strict but approachable to his hoobaes. You know your  character's  limitations and you've sticked with possible things that a real life detective might be. For your OC, she's vulnerable alright, but she didn't appear to be as someone who is damsel in distress.

b. Evolution of Characters. 5/5

For the constant progress of your story, I still can't point out things since your story is still on going. But Keep it up! It is much better if you draw out changes with their emotions as the story's conflict is approaching.

c. Point of View Used. 5/5

Since you're using a second person's pov, for me it is tricky. Because you're shifting from one pov to another. Like for instance, You're explaining what 'you' feel then when you're going to explain her surroundings you'll have to mix it with a third person pov style. 

 

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