[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for cuteismysterious[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Sasaeng's Pen[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: Sasaeng's Pen

Author: cuteismysterious

Main Characters: Yong Jinkyu (You/OC), EXO's Byun Baekhyun and various Korean idols

Genre: Romance

Status: On-going

Description of Story: People always talk about them negatively, they don't even knew who we really are to begin with...

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 4.5/5

I like your title. It was really eye-catching, and the relevance of the title to your story was present. You matched the title with the main idea of the story, or rather you rhymed it with the main theme, which is the "Sasaeng fans." I can say that the title is unique, so good job in choosing the title.

 

Graphics: 3/10

First of all, I'm outright confused with your graphics. It came out too dark for me. It did look cute, especially the robot thingy in the poster, but what's the relevance? If it was drama, then you could've used the characters in the poster, since the theme is drama and romance, so you have to portray the drama and romance in the poster itself. Based on your foreword, I can say that there'll be a lot of drama in the story, so it's best to focus on that genre, and try making a poster that'll match that genre.

Your graphics is very critical in the story. In your case, the story was supposed to be about drama and romance, but the poster screamed fluff and fantasy/supernatural-like, then your readers read the contents. Don't you think they'll get confused and disappointed, since they might have assumed that the story is fluff and fantasy-like?

I do understand that the poster is meaningful, but it's a bit confusing. You can just put that poster on your foreword, and explain why it's like that. Since this is a dramatic-slash-romantic fic, focus on those genres and relate it with your story. This is what I think.

 

Description and Foreword: 4.5/10

First of all, it's too long, and it doesn't seem like a description if you ask me. In your case, the descriptiopn and the explanation of what sasaengs are was mixed up. At the first part, you kind of explained what sasaeng fans are. You could put another section to place a brief explanation for sasaeng fans, and just put a short and brief description of what the story is all about. There were a bit of errors in your sentence construction as well. Here's my version tho. I changed some words and phrases. This is just my opinion, so you're not forced to change anything.
 

Description: 

They hate us. We hide, and when we show up, they'll hate us again. It's just like a cycle where they would rant and critisize us. They always win eventually. They don't even know anything about us in the first place, but they just kept on ranting over and over again.

My name is Yong Jikyun. Yes, I am a sasaeng fan, and I'm here to write about my everyday life through this pen....

Foreword:

Sasaeng fans - Excessively obsessed K-pop fans; Extreme fans who stalk Korean celebrities.

When everyone hears the word 'Sasaeng,' they get inside their houses and lock themselves in. Sasaengs are characterized by some certain adjectives such as crazy, insane, and gross by their ways of learning and monitoring celebrities' every move.

They are known for causing a car accident last 2011 that almost killed a Super Junior member. They are also known for attending Baekhyun's brother's wedding last year, to which created a messy situation, and many more.

They are treated like animals or psycopaths whenever people see them. They are supposedly the menace and culprit of the society; a virus that must be washed away, as if they were bringing people mad cow diseases.
 

There, I personally think that it looks better, but in my opinion, it's still long, so try removing some useless information, since some were understable already that you don't have to elaborate more. I also think that some parts would look better if aligned in the center, making it less boring. I'm not saying that it look's boring though. Let's just go with 'it wil