Calling for xiuminbaozi99

"Melody of the Night"

Author: xiuminbaozi99

Main Characters: Xiumin, OC

Genre: Romance

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
Who is he? Why is he there? How long has he been listening to me?
For as long as Seon-yul can remember, her one and only dream is to become a music composer. Of course, being a diligent girl, she is always working hard to achieve that goal.
Every night, from seven to ten, Seon-yul heads to the music room of her old high school to play the songs she composed on her violin. Seon-yul treasures this time alone in the silent room, no one can disturb her from the pleasure of listening and playing the lovely, enchanting tunes.
But little did Seon-yul know, a boy is always there to listen to the beautiful melody she was playing. Never once did he miss her lonely performances.
Fate has brought the two together, but the rest of the story must be written by themselves. Will they reach a happy ending, or a tragic conclusion?   

    Critique:

Story Title: 4/5

It’s a unique title, I haven’t seen it anywhere before and It has this sad and melancholy aura to it. The reason why I knocked off a point there was because despite the unique title, it didn’t jump out at me all that much. 

 

Graphics: 9/10

You have a background image and a poster, which I am really happy to see as the graphics play a big role in setting the mood for your readers. Bright and happy graphics gives off a cheerful feel which hints that this story may potentially be under the genre comedy, romance, fluff…etc. In your case, your poster and background image is quite dark, almost “sparkly” with the stars in your background which portrays a sad, magical aura which I think suits your story quite well. The only thing I found a tiny bit distracting was the single bright star that stood out amongst the smaller ones in your background. Might just be my own eye problem, but every time I scrolled down the page, that one star would stand out to me and I felt almost as if my eyes were being blinded. (Well, I’m exaggerating a bit but something like that). 

 

Description and Foreword: 8/10

Personally, I have no problems with your description. Although short and simple, it gives me enough information about the general idea of your story, and leaves the reader wanting to know more with your last sentence ‘Will they reach a happy ending, or a tragic conclusion?’ I wish you would hint about Seon-yul getting accepted into the new academy though because it think that would spark the reader’s interest more, but that’s up to you. xD

The thing I wanted to talk to you about is your foreword. Although I’m fine with what you’ve put in the foreword, I feel like it’s a bit too plain. I would prefer it if you add in a character description section. Mind you, when I say character description, I don’t mean for you to write a long paragraph explaining each character in detail because that’s something the readers should be able to pick up when reading your fanfic. What I mean is just maybe a picture, a name, and some simple facts such as their blood type, age, status etc. That would help the readers understand your characters a whole lot more without spoiling the surprise. 

 

Characterization: 9/10

Seon-yul is this kind-hearted, fragile little lady who loves playing the violin and is devoted to her boyfriend Baekhyun despite him being a jerk to her and treating her like a toy. Xiumin is this rich, cold hearted (?) boy who despite his icy appearance, have a soft spot for Seon-yul and isn’t actually all that cold inside at all. Baekhyun is this jerk of a guy who is a total player and should totally go hit himself because he’s such a heart-breaker. :’( And Yixing and Chanyeol are both relevantly nice people who helped Seon-yul settle in and became her first friends in her new school.

Your characterization overall is good, I could clearly distinguish each character’s personality from another. But in regards to Yixing and Chanyeol, it may be because you’ve only posted 11 chapter so far, I feel as if they’re kind of just floating around in the story. Although I was able to see that they were kind people and have some sort of attraction towards Seon-yul, I didn’t feel the importance of those two. I don’t know, I can only see what happens when you update more chapters~. ^_^ 

 

Plot: 36/40

So, the general idea of your story is rahter cliché. A nice girl meets a rich guy, they were brought together by fate and tadah, they fall in love. (Now all you’re missing is the second lead guy so Xiumin can have some competition. Maybe Yixing will be that second main lead?) N