[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for LuhaniePie[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]He Owns Me[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: He Owns Me

Author: LuhaniePie

Main Characters: Park Chanyeol and Choi/Park Eunmi

Genre: Drama, Romance, Schoollife, , Tragedy

Status: On-going

Description of Story: When I was seven my parents were died in a horrible accident. since then I became orphan and I thought I'll living in orphanage like other kids who lost their parents. But I was wrong. they sent me to someone house instead. I was really happy back then, but everything ended up different from what I had excepted. They're such a kind couple but the problem is their only son doesn't like me and I don't know why. He begins mean and bullied me, he does whatever that make me cry. but It was ended when he going to study abroad and I was thankful and secretly pray that he'll never comeback but I only living happily with my peaceful life about 10 years and then the devil comeback. He's back. My only nightmare's back. Park Chanyeol's back.

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 1/5

Your title is way too common. I search it up and I found heaps of other stories with the same title as yours and some had your title in their title as a phrase. I suggest that next time you spend more time thinking of a title.

 

Graphics: 7/10

I liked you graphic so I have no comments on that. However, I do have comments for your background. I didn’t like how you used your poster for your background. It stood out making me lose my focus on the story. I suggest you find or request a background that isn’t too noticeable. 

 

Description and Foreword: 3/10

I liked your description but I found too many grammatical errors. Also, I suggest you take the preview of your story away as it can make the reader skip that part of the story as when they read which can read them to not reading some important things. I suggest that you replace it something else or take it away fully.

 

Characterization: 6/10