[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for Sparklee_Scorpio[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Light Within the Darkness[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: Light Within The Darkness

Author: Sparkle_Scorpio

Main Characters: OC (Sumi), Baekhyun

Genre: Angst, Gantasy/Supernatural, Romance

Status: On-going

Description of Story: When the two people who don't even love each other had force to marry each other.... Baekhyun, who was force to accept the marriage. Sumi, who was asking for a deal. Baekhyun agreed with Sumi that they can have their own privacy and their love one. They had make an agreement with each other. To never falling in love with each other.

Foreword: In the year XXXX, the world had reformed into two super continents with the East continent representing the Light Nation and the West continent representing the Dark Nation. Each nation has four unique representative elements of its own with one other element leading the entire nation. Queen Leafira, the current ruler of the Light Nation and the wielder of Leaf element has a daughter named Sumi who was gifted with the power of Nature element and was by far the one an only with such unique power. Byun Baekhyun, the heir to the Light element clan and was known as "General Byun". He's Sumi's best friend and was chosen by the queen to be her soul mate during Sumi's 600th birthday. However, the princess had already has the love of her dream, Oh Sehun or better known as "General Oh". What will be the out come of this soon to be triangle love?

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 5/5

Honestly, I like your title. If has that romantic feel in it. It was also VERY relevant to the story specifically to Baekhyun since his power is light. You portrayed the themes of your story which is fantasy and romance, so good job.

Graphics: 9.5/10

I don't like your poster. I love it! The poster and background matched each other perfectly. The poster definitely looked professional. I like the effects especially the background of the poster (like the clock). The effects though of the girl was a little nerve-wracking for me (Hahaha). When you look at the picture, your eyes immediately flies on her direction since it was too light, but I guess that's the whole point since the title says the "Light Within the Darkness" so I guess it's just me. I would prefer the color black that gray though to emphasize the "Darkness."

Description and Foreword: 9/10

The description and foreword is very important in a story, since it's what readers look for the moment they go to your page. The description was good, but there were a lot of grammar errors. I would gladly correct them for you. (Of course you don't really have to change it. This is just my recommendation. I didn't change that much though. You have the final decision.) Here's my version:

Description:

When two people who don't even love each other was forced to marry each other.... 
Baekhyun, who was forced to accept the marriage
Sumi, who asked for a deal
Baekhyun agreed with Sumi that they can have their own privacy and loved one
They made an agreement with each other.
To never fall in love with each other.

Foreword:

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter