"A Boy With Two Hearts"

Author: epione

Main Characters: Yoo Jiae, Yoo Youngjae, BAP

Genre: Angst, Friendship, Romance

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
How often…
do we think it’s okay to fall apart?

…we give up so easily—on broken toys, snapped piano legs, on each other—and we make believe
that even our tongues are bulletproof, as if we are stronger than what these fragile bones can take.

We don’t forgive our broken toys. We don’t learn to piece them back together. We trip over our own skeletons
and sweep them back beneath our skin; collect the splattering of our sorrows and flush them down the toilet like
secrets. We’re so ashamed of that which fumbles and falls through our fingers that we forget that
there’s another way.

 

Story Title: 5/5

When I first got the request to do your story, you had the original title you send to us and I didn’t understand at the beginning how it was relevant, and then, you changed, or better said added, ‘Invisible Boundaries’ which goes perfectly with the story. If I was to give explication on my choice, which is what I’m doing, I would say the second one manages to grab the attention easier, since ‘boundary’ means the farthest limit and reader can already tell that the story would be about extremities, about, let’s put it taboo subjects.

You’ve managed to do exactly what a writer should do with his title. Lure readers.

Graphics: 0/0

You said not to ‘dwell on the graphics and poster’ because you want your story itself to be reviewed. I’m not going to give you any points, and this section would be erased from your review, but before I do that, I shall explain why a poster is much needed when it comes to a story.

Imagine you going to a library and having to choose between a book with white, plain cover and one with a beautiful and interesting cover. What would you choose? Of course, the latter one. Why? You would be captured by the alluring image and go with the first impression. Maybe the first book would have been a better one and yet, you’ll never find out because the author skipped the important step of doing something that will grab people’s attention. 

The poster is like the title. It matters and it makes a difference.

Description and Foreword: 9/10

The first description screams out ‘secrets’. Secrets that, once showed to the world, would change the life of the person who keeps them. I think this is also what you meant when you wrote it. You kept it short and simple, and most of time, simple is the best option a writer can have for this section. However, when the description holds too much mystery it’s not okay… Yes, yours keeps the readers at the edge, they want to know more, but it’s confusing in the same time, in a way I cannot explain how I would like to. 

The second description is more likely my taste. I love the way you gave details, made comparisons, gave a legit explication and brought real-life situation in it. This is about the first part, in the second part, you managed to make me confused by putting that little scene, which I believe is possibly related to the other stories you’ve written (‘A Boy with A Name’ and ‘A Boy without A Heart’). 

No, the beginning of the story does not stand alone, but I will give further explication below.

Characterization: 8/10

I will start off by talking about Youngjae, the character you described the best in the story. The way you portrayed him made me obsessed (let alone the fact that I went to watch a few videos of him after finishing reading, just to get my dose of him… Damn, I forgot how beautiful that man can be) and at some point,