"Polaris"

Author: nicorobin

Main Characters: EXO's Kai & APink's Bomi

Genre: Friendship, Romance, Slice of life

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
At age 14, Jongin's life made a huge turn when he moved to a smaller town and met her.
At age 22, Jongin found himself back in Seoul, wondering how late was too late.

Story Title: 3/5

"Polaris" is a good title, however, it wasn't necessarily eyecatching, nor it was unique (I think I've also seen a story with the same title, but I'm not sure). To be perfectly honest, I didn't expect much from the story because of the title, but I realized that not reading the story would've been a huge loss. The title, however, doesn't do it justice enough; it's like you've scratched the surface and stopped there. And knowing what "Polaris" means, I actually expected something along the lines of pure romance, maybe some comedic factor here and there, but overall, it gave a "hopeful, fluffy" feel (like how a star would make you feel, in short) instead of what your story is going for. However, the title did have some sort of purpose for the relationship of the main characters, so I won't say that it wasn't totally a lost in translation title. I'm not really 100% suggesting a whole overhaul of the title, but if you decide to alter it a bit, do consider the fact that readers most likely would judge your story based on the title, so something that would make it an enticing read just basing from the title would be a good addition.

Description and Foreword: 8/10

Your description and foreword are good, nothing too revealing about the story's contents, which is a mistake some authors tend to make. I like how you mentioned the characters' names without revealing what sort of purpose they had for the story, and the addition of the playlist is good. I just felt that it was too simple, and that "Jongin met her (Bomi)" was reiterated yet apart from that, there was nothing else was made the readers wonder or look forward to. If judging from the sentences provided, readers would instantly think that "Oh, Jongin met Bomi at age 14. This is a romance story, and it was mentioned that it was cliche. So I guess it would be something like they met, because friends, ended up together? Okay." so judging from that, some readers would've instantly derived an ending and they would've skipped the story over. I felt like the description you gave us was a better version, since it added the "angst" element that was present in your story. Though apart from that, you did a good job.

Characterization: 8/10

I enjoyed how you portrayed your characters, from the quiet Jongin, the bubbly Bomi, the complicated Sehun, the nice sunbae Kyungsoo, and the others as well. Their thoughts, actions and dialogue were simple yet they worked effectively, and I commend you for that.

So let's evaluate the characters one by one.

Kim Jongin

His personality was handled quite well in the duration of the story, and I found him quite believable as the "newcomer" in the story because he reacted in a way that made the readers understand how his actions were both a part of his personality and how an actual newcomer would be like. I found him to be an awkward person but well-meaning, and his dense attitude towards his feelings for Bomi was painful in a good way because as the reader, it made me wish and hope that Jongin would just realize how he feels around Bomi. His reactions towards both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol somehow gave the story a sort of forbearance as to what roles Kyungsoo and Chanyeol would serve in the duration of their appearances. How he is conveyed towards Junhee and Naeun in the story was actually good, they were a separate thing and yet tied to the relationship that Jongin and Bomi had in overall. Somehow, I half-expected that Jongin only said that Junhee was his girlfriend due to jealousy, but it later became evident that he did care for her and felt affection for her by the way that he reacted around Junhee. Naeun's case was different because it developed, it had a track it went through.

Yoon Bomi

I found her to be quite a likeable character, and her personality is cute without being overbearing. Her persistence with Jongin was cute and I really enjoyed her character from start to finish, yet I feel like her feelings towards Jongin weren't clear enough in the story, which might also be because of the fact that the story was more in Jongin's view rather than hers. I mean, I did get the se