​"Everlasting Impressions"

Author: hi_im_olaf

Main Characters: Luhan

Genre: Drama, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Romance, Romcom, 

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
Luhan was just a 5 years old boy when he met Minseok. At that time, the Korean guy was just a college boy in China who always having
lunch at Luhan’s mother’s restaurant. That guy is very cute and very kind to Luhan and his mother. And little Luhan always peek from the
restaurant’s kitchen secretly. But Minseok, however, didn’t stay in China forever and one day he returned back to South Korea. It makes
Luhan very sad. It took 10 years later, till Luhan find out that he was gay, and he works hard so he can get a scholarship in South
orea just to find Minseok. With a help from his new Korean friends, will he be able to find him?

Story Title

Your title is not attractive. It sounds very common. It sounds as if you didn’t make an effort to make the title beautiful. You still have the chance to change your title into a better one. Think about it. Read about how to have a good title. You can read that in “Perplexity Writing Tips” by our very own shop runner, yeolwho, or you can search it up on google.

Appearance

a. Poster and Background

Your background is okay, but your poster seems not to fit your story. I thought it would be angst, but your story is not. Try to make the poster more colorful, fluffier. The poster looks really nice, but it really doesn’t fit the story.

b. Lay-out and Formatting

Your character chart doesn’t look neat. The pictures have different sizes, and it really looks like you made it very quick. Your credits have very large fonts, when actually credits should have a relatively smaller font than the main text of your fic. Make the font smaller than your main text, eh? Though it’s okay to use the default font, I really prefer not to use it. Maybe you can have a different font, so it will seem that you made effort to make your fic look good. That’s all.

Description and Foreword

Your description is okay. It doesn’t give me the wow factor, but it describes your story well. Hardcore readers may not read your story, but others may find it enticing enough, because duh, it’s Xiuhan.

There is really a problem with your grammar. You know that of course. Your last update was in July, and I doubt that you will continue writing this. Now, you also have a problem with the narration itself. You are too straightforward. You must have some creative style. Play with words. Your current writing sounds robotic. Try to read English stories from famous authors. Read and read and read and read, and observe how they wrote their story. You need to gain more experience in reading and writing, a lot, abundant, myriad, many, billions of experience so you can be a better writer.

Take aff as an opportunity to develop as a writer. After reading English grammar books (yes, I suggest you to read grammar books), apply what you’ve learned by writing something. Take note that your improvement in writing won’t just make you a good aff author, but it will also help you in real life. Believe me. If you have good skills in writing (especially in non-fiction literature), it will help you a lot with your job career, especially in the white-collar jobs (white collar jobs are jobs in the office, if you don’t know). You can get promoted if you do a very good job, and that means more honor, more money. That’s the power of knowledge and skills. That’s the power of writing.

Your description also has a loophole. In the story, Luhan wanted to have Xiumin as his groom even since he was a child, and even until he grew up, he still wanted Xiumin to be his groom. And yet, you put in your description that Luhan only found out that he himself was gay after ten years? Eh?

Character Development

a. Unity of the Characters and Their Actions

I suggest that before you write a story, read some tips first on each elements of a story. Search on google. Make sure you know something before you begin writing a story. Before you go to a war, you must at least know how to shoot a gun, right? That’s the same with writing.

Your fic, I am sure, is hastily done. You