"Cheesy Pizzas"

Author: -infinitea

Main Characters: Hershy (OC/You), Pizza Guy (BTS'V)

Genre: Fluff, Romcom

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
"I'll have two boxes of Pepperoni Mushroom and a box of Cheesy Bacon Pizzas, please. Deliver them to 486 Skylar Street, Dream Avenue." "Is that all, ma'am?" The voice from the other end of the phone said. "Yes, I love you," and when I was about to hung up, I just realized-- "Whoa, whoa, holy ! This is so cheesy!" I could almost imagine the creepy guy throwing punches at the air as he says these words, "Okay, hold on. I love you, too, whoever you are," and he made kissy noises. A whole minute of silence. I can't speak, I lost my voice. I can't even defend myself and say that I was used to saying "I love you" to my boy-- okay, ex- boyfriend on the phone that right now, when I was supposed to say "Thank you" I told him I loved him instead. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. What if this guy's a creep?! The guy cleared his throat from the other line, "I hope you're not expecting a discount on the pizza just because we confessed our undying love for each other. Bye!"

Story Title: 4/5

A title is a story’s first impression. People make a first impression with appearance, wardrobe and body language. Stories do it with a title, that's why titles are extremely important. A title creates anticipation and expectation or, perhaps, disinterest. Often the title is what will determine whether or not someone reads a story. Let's think of it as the first step in officially advertising/promoting your story. It's with an attractive title that makes a reader want to read a story, to be honest. Here in Asianfanfics.com, stories are commonly placed in section through tags, or through categories in general. Frankly, there are thousands of stories here on AFF, so clearly, there's no assurance that you're story'll be read by readers' that suddenly. So yeah. You have to really do a good job with choosing the right title.

I could already tell that the story's fluffy from the title of yours. It wasn't unique, but it was indeed catchy. I'm kind of presuming that there's a lot of fluff as well, but it wasn't included in your tags though. The title was a bit relevant to the story, although not that much. It's a bit connected to Taehyung/V since he's the pizza delivery boy, and the main characters did meet though pizza, so I guess the title's relevant to the story. Personally, I like the title. It's simple, not too lengthy and a bit relevant. Honestly, I can't think of any other title more suitable for your story. I guess you did a good job, with choosing. My only problem with regards to your choice of title is that it may not attract that much attention from readers; mainly because it's simple, but I can't say for sure. I mean, we all have our different tastes. I suggest improving the other elements of your story instead.​

Graphics: 4/10

Your poster wasn't attractive to be honest. It looked like it was hastily designed, as if Taehyung's head was cut off and put at the top of the pizza slice, then it's done. It was too colorful for my taste as well. I think you should request from graphics shops instead. I admire you for making your own graphics though. It's just that graphics are as important as the other elements of your story. Unlike the other fanfiction sites out there, AFF provides a bigger space for posters. The more attractive it is, the more motivated your readers will get into reading your story. Overall, the poster's not that attractive, so think about requesting from graphic shops. There are a lot of graphic shops out there and I'm pretty sure that they'd be more than willing to make your graphics. Don't forget to request for a matching background. Backgrounds are important as well since your readers can't stare at your poster all the time. Plus, it'll add to the effects and physical appearance of your page/story.

Description and Foreword: 6/10

Honestly, that's not considered as a description. A description is something that contains the brief description of your story. A description is your chance to speak directly to your readers about why you wrote the story, what it’s about, and why it’s important. As it is an introduction to your story, a description should include information about the plot. First of all, give a brief description of the story; the main characters, or themes. Give just enough to get the reader interested in reading more; don’t give anything away. Make sure your description fits all the elements of your story. I've read stories before wherein their description was indeed interesting, but once I read the story, I was disappointed because it wasn't connected, and it really didn't match my expectations. Also, make it sound as unique as possible. It's what usually readers are after once they visit your story, so if your description is more than enough to attract them, they might read your story. Describe the story along with the characters as well. Remember not to put too much information as it may ruin the surprise/twist of the story. Beware of the length as well. It shouldn't be too long nor too short.

As for that sneak peek you put in your description, I suggest transferring it in your foreword instead. That's where sneak peeks are normally placed here on Asianfanfics. Oh, and you should mind your grammatical errors as well. I found some, but they were nothing major though. (Hint: Hyphens versus dashes). As for the character chart, well it's your choice whether to put that or not. Personally, I think it's fine since you didn't really give off some information with regards to your characters. It contained only pictures, so it's fine I guess. The sizes were too big though; not only the pictures but the names as well. Maybe decreasing them would be a good idea. [P.S. It's 'kissing noises' and not 'kissy noises'. There's no such word as kissy.]

I was actually looking for an author's note or something, but I found none. I was actually curious of what inspired you into making this story. You should think of putting something like that. It would be fun to see what you'd like to say to your readers before they proceed into reading the story. It's the first step with interacting with your readers as well.

Characterization: 7/10

First of all, when you're analyzing characterization, you are analyzing how a character has been shaped within a work of fiction. It is best to analyze the characterization of each character individually first. Sometimes, after you’ve analyzed three or four characters, you begin to notice a pattern in how an author chooses to characterize the characters in that story. As the author, you might specifically use dialogues to characterize, or actions, but it is important to isolate these concepts and avoid making assumptions about the work before you’ve looked at it closely.

You didn't exactly did well in this section; rather there were a lot of confusing loopholes throughout your story. First of all, let's discuss Hershy's personality. She's too typical if you ask me. Honestly, I didn't find anything special with her, but I guess it's just because the plot hasn't progressed that much. Characters should come across to the reader as real people with whom they can identify. That means that what the character thinks, feels, and does should feel to the reader like how a real person thinks, feels, and acts. Since your story is realistic, although of fluff and crack,