Calling for kpopulzzangforever

"- Opposites -"

Author: kpopulzzangforever

Main Characters: Naeun , Hana [ oc ] , chanyeol, Key

Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, Fluff, Friendship, Romance, School Life, Tragedy

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
Making a hundred friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a single friend who will stand
by your side when everyone else is against you.

 

  Critique:

Story Title: 2/5

Firstly, I’m very picky about title and your title irked me. I suggest you to take out the hyphen marks at the beginning and the end of your title. Perhaps by doing that you can make your title look more tidy but this is just my preferences talking. Actually I’m quite okay with that but as always, “okay” is not good enough.

In my opinion, your title is not catchy enough. If I scrolling down on AFF, trying to find a story to read, I will choose other title, not yours. This maybe sound harsh, but sometimes it take three seconds to attract your potential readers and BAM, they’re gone.

I know that ol’ quote “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, but when you are really bored, open AFF to find good story quickly, you might end up choosing the story with catchy title or that can attract your interest. At the end of the day, the shop that looks open, friendly and interesting that will get the most customer.

 

Graphics: 5/10

I’m not really sure about this rubric because I’m no artist. Heck, I don’t think my right brain working so when it comes to analyse poster and background, I always use my feeling only. So here is my feeling told me when I saw your poster.

“Well, it’s okay but umm, actually I don’t really like the girl on the left. Maybe the artist could use other ulzzang? The photoshop seems a bit rusty, not smooth, full of edges. Maybe the sentence could be placed on other side, not on top of the poster.”

I don’t want to say that’s bad since I can’t make it myself, but maybe you can use other shop? I know one good shop out there, maybe you can pm me to know about this shop. Another thing about your poster, I think you should place it before the description not being one part with description. I’m sure on the foreword in your story you can find option “Add Images”. Usually we use that option to place the poster and background baby. I was surprised when I first open your story link, like wow, maybe you’re new here and need some tutorial? AFF has that option I think.

 

Description and Foreword: 7/10

Firstly, I suggest you not to put your title on the description. That’s redundant baby. Over-all your description is okay. It’s good to put some of the dialogues over there. I just want to nag about the grammar here.

[Original version] Making a hundred friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a single friend who will stand by your side when everyone else is against you.

[Revised version] Making hundred of friends is not called a miracle. Miracle is making a friend who will stand by your side when the world is against you.

[Original version] "You don't have pretend anymore, I like you just the way you are."

[Revised version] “You don’t have to pretend anymore, I like you just the way you are.”

Your description will be more powerful if you don’t have any difficulties with grammar. Maybe you should really consider to find nice beta-reader for your story. Our shop have some of the best beta-readers out there in AFF and they are more than willing to help any writers as long as they agree and “click” with the story. You can try to find your beta-reader here. I strongly reccommend you to find beta-reader. Beta-reader can help you with your grammar and sometimes you can learn grammar faster that way because you know first hand which part you’re still lacking and be more aware of that next time.

Secondly, your