[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for janeloveexo[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]How to MAKE LOVE[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: How to MAKE LOVE

Author: janeloveexo    

Main Characters: You/OC and Sehun

Genre: Family, Romance,

Status: Completed

Description of Story: When Sehun and you, the new married couple were asked by both your parents to have a child as soon as possible, you two had to make love. Unfortunately, neither of you knew how to do it. Then...What did you both do? Could you both finally make it?? If yes, HOW?

 

 

 

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 2/5

The title is relevant to the story and fits it, but I don’t like how you used Caps Lock for “make love”, you could’ve simply put “How to Make Love”. I know that you tried to put focus on the main idea of the story but it looks unprofessional and childish. Although relevant, it’s common and kind of plain. You could’ve used a better title.

 

Graphics: 7/10

I hate the poster, it looks like it was done by an eight-year child and doesn’t attract my attention, but the background saved you. You should have used a cuter poster, which also gives off a professional feeling. There are tons of shops that specialize in cute posters, so you had a lot of options. 

 

Description and Foreword: 6/10

My eyes hurt when I read the Description. All those colors (yellow, red) make me cringe and, if I was not a reviewer, I would have clicked ‘Back’ right away. Like the poster, this gives off a sloppy, childish feeling to your work and you do not want that. I understand that you want to rise to curiosity of those who click on your story, and that would have worked years ago, when AFF was in the beginning stage, but now, everyone looks for stories that are nicely written, and that includes the Description and Foreword section; by the way, you used the latter as an Author Note section, so there is nothing to comment on that. 

In the Foreword, you could have given a small preview, or share on how you came with this idea and what readers should expect when they click “Next”. 

 

Characterization: 6/10

Your characters made me laugh; you should have added comedy to the genres. They’re both too innocent for their own good when it comes to the ual activities, which makes me wonder… Did they never hear about this? 
Sehun is willing to leave the original character pregnant but has no clue on how to do it, and so is the female lead. How did they live twenty years without ever hearing about how babies are done?
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