"Mistakes and Regrets"

Author: ajamaine

Main Characters: Mark Tuan, Jackson Wang, Jae (OC), Sora (OC)

Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
The worst thing Jae did that day was giving in to her best friend.

   

Story Title: 3.5/5

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure if I'm in favor of your story title. For one, it was too simple. A simple search on Google would prove my point. Since you used too simple words that contains a simple and a bit predictable concept from the title itself, the story might not be that much memorable to your readers. I also believe that there are a lot more titles that you can use for better effect, but yeah. Even so, I'm not saying that you should change your title; that's complete up to you though. On the good side, it does capture the genres that you depicted in the story, and it defiantly sounded angst-y. It was really relevant in the story as well, seeing as how Sora slept with Mark like Jae did with Jackson; all of them were drunk. They made mistakes and regretted them, or at least not at the moment, so yeah.

 

Plot: 13/20

a. Originality. 3/5

I'll be honest here; the concept was not original. I guess it was troubling that the characters were all involved in a very complicated love square where one loves the other, the other loves another, and so on. I can't really say much right now since you only had three chapter on, and I'm getting a feeling that a lot of things would happen in the future, so for now, let's settle with a score of three out of five. Just a quick question though, since I was confused with the love conflicts here. So Jae apparently loves/likes Mark, yet Mark kind of likes her as well because of his sad expression when he saw her beside Jackson? Sora likes Mark; well sort of. Correct me if I'm wrong. And then Jackson kind of likes Jae, which I got when Mark about it. 

“I do, I do...but, we were drunk as well and one thing led to another and we ended up in my bed together and I swear in my mind I wasn’t seeing Sora, I was seeing Jae. If I wasn’t drunk I would’ve never done that to her. Also, Sora begged me not to tell her anything, not like if I would’ve had the heart to.”

Mark looked at his friend who was unusually quiet, “Jackson Wang,” he said grinning, “Do you like Jae?”

I was a bit confused with mark since he teased Jackson, and I thought he like Jae as well, or was it just me? Anyway, I do hope to get some clarifications since I was a bit confused, and I really liked how complicated their relationships are with one another.

I'm quite getting a hunch that either Jae or Sora would get pregnant due to that faithful night when they slept with Jackson and Mark respectively, especially with regards to you title? I really do think that at least someone would get pregnant. That "regrets" part would make sense then, but then again, I don't want to be ahead of myself, nor you story, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I can't really wait to read the next chapters though, to be honest. You got me hooked.

b. Setting of the Story. 3/5

Again, I'm terribly sorry for the low grade, but just as I've said before, I have to be really honest here. The setting of the story was indeed complicated. Since Mark and Jackson are both foreigners, it's hard to say whether the story happens in US, in Korea, in Hongkong, or what; get what I mean? You weren't specific with the time and all as well. If Jae and Sora went to that party, then what time as it? When Jae woke up with Jackson beside her that morning, what time was it? These can be considered as minor details, but still, it makes things more understandable and more realistic. It makes you think of the scene itself at that time frame, whether it happens in real life or not.

The time and the place concerning the scenes are not the only things that matter at this point though. You also have to mind how you explain their surroundings. Since you