[CONTENTID1]Archive: Review for LoyalBerries[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Broken Wings of a Swan[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Story Title: Broken Wings of a Swan

Author: LoyalBerries

Main Characters: Luhan and OC

Genre: Angst, Drama, Family

Status: On-going

Description of Story: The sad life story of a ballerina which had loses her hopes to keep living. She thinks that the worst thing that she'll need to face was to have both of her legs, paralysed.But what's more worst is that, she had been accused for murdering her own family. By her own sister. Go Ara, which is a successful ballerina, had loses her hopes in living, after she had loses all of the important things in her life. She always thought that there’s no way she could continued living her life with nothing. Life to her is just as a broken shattered pieces of a glass, the more she tried to put it back altogether, the more she’ll hurt herself. So she just sat quietly. Watching from afar as the shattered glass spread on the floor, Without even wanting to move it away. And as she was at a state of breaking down, a young Psychiatrist gives her so much reasons to keep living.And taught her more about lives.

CRITIQUE:

Story Title: 5/5

I adore the title. It has a lot of angst and sad feel to it and makes me want to click your story right away. 

Graphics: 8/10

It goes well with the genre of the story, but it’s made a little messy. I also like the quote you put “Let me be the reason for you to keep living your life...” 

The trailer was interesting but I guess you could’ve made the subtitles bigger. 

Description and Foreword: 7/10

You had a few mistakes in the description and made it a little confusing. Here is my version, “The sad life story of a ballerina who had lost her hope to keep living. She thinks that the worst thing she'll need to face it’s to have both of her legs paralyzed. But what's more tragic it’s that she had been accused for murdering her own family, by her own sister.
Go Ara, the lead female and successful ballerina had lost her hopes in living after she had lost all the important things in her life.

She always thought that there was no way she could continue living her life with nothing.
Life to her was like the broken shattered pieces of a glass and the more she tried to put it back altogether, the more she would hurt herself.