"Picture Something Perfect"

Author: -dulcet

Main Characters: Luhan and Anna Choi (OC)

Genre: Drama, Romance

Status: On-going

Description of Story:
A well-known photographer who has kissed the whole world was asked to go to Korea to capture a 'perfect' photograph for a job that needs to be saved. Confident and self-assured, Lu Han's in for the job like it's the easiest and the most effortless thing in the world. But little did Lu Han know that his boss is aiming for a different kind of 'perfect'. Will Lu Han find out what 'perfect' his boss is talking about and give him the photograph within 5 months? Or loose his job (which for sure he won't allow such thing to happen).

Story Title: 3.5/5

Let's start with how important story titles are. Story titles are what's necessary to present your story to readers with the best title possible. Your title needs to set the tone of your story, giving some hints here and there with relation to the genre and the style of the book that helps draw the readers in. Remember that story titles are your very first opportunity to market your story and make someone to read it. The bottomline is to make is as interesting as possible. In your case, well I don't quite fancy your title choice, although it's somehow relevant to the story itself. It's a bit broad, but it depicit the main theme of the story which is photography. The word "something" was a bit distracting for me though. It's a very broad word, and it's somehow a very informal word to be used in that kind of story, but nonetheless, I think it's fine as it did give off a hint of what's to come in the story, and yeah, I kind of thought of something deep behind that title of yours, but I'm not telling. Teehee.

Graphics: 5/10

Well, honestly, I don't like the poster. I don't really see the theme out of it, plus, it looks like it was made hastily. It would've been better if it shows some symbolism or something, like make the background something of a scenery or something that's most likely to be photographed at. Also, I think it would be better if it's softer, since I immediately sensed some drama from the prologue itself, so yeah. I suggest requesting for another poster from the shop you already requested at. Again, make sure to request for a soft yet meaningful poster. It would be better if there were something that holds some symbolism. Just think of something though. Oh, and make sure to request for a matching/complementing background. You may think that backgrounds are not important, but no. It is. It's not always that your readers will see your poster no matter how good-looking it is; plus, a background will help set the mood for the rest of the words on the chapter and it adds more effect to the physical appearance of your story. Basically, it makes your story look better. The end.

Description and Foreword: 8.5/10

First of all, I like the quote you put at the beginning of the description. It somehow set the mood for the theme of the story which is photography. My only issue with the quote would be the words and letters you put with a red font color. If you want to emphasize something, it would be best to bold them instead since the color red really emphasized something in contrast with the other letters and words in gray color, so yeah.

A description is your chance to speak directly to your readers about why you wrote the story, what it’s about, and why it’s important. As it is an introduction to your story, a description should include information about the plot. I have no issue with your description whatsoever. It looks and sounds great, and it really depicits the main theme of your story. There wasn't any grammar mistakes as I know of except for the last sentence, or rather question, which you should've ended with a question mark. [Or lose his job (which for sure he won't allow such thing to happen)?] I honestly think that there's no need to put them in parenthesis, but yeah. Your choice.

I have no issue with your character chart and your foreword. They both looked nice and well-placed. I'm glad that you didn't add some information with your character chart. As for the foreword, well it was really organized, especially the information with regards to the type, status, genre, etc. You did well with the format of this story and your hardwork was really well-shown. Good job.

Characterization: 6/10

I guess I have not much to say on this part since the story hasn't progressed that much, but yeah. I think you're doing a fair job so far. I like how you introduced the two main characters as the photographer and the waitress, but I can't help but notice that it's a bit typical like the other stories out there with similar plot as yours.

For Anna Choi, well first things first, why did you name her like that? I mean, it's obvious that she's American-Korean, but I think it's best to stick with a Korean name. It's a bit questionable since her sister's name is Hyera (I think). I suggest that if you want to keep naming her like that, then you should change her sister's name as well with that of an American's. Anyway, her sickness kind of told me off, and honestly, that was kind of unexpected, but I guess that's where the drama on her part starts. That sickness is kind of too cliche for me though. I've read a lot of stories wherein the girl has this cancer or some sort of sickness, so yeah. I'm kind of plotting your ending right now.

For Luhan, he's the typical cool guy with the camera. He excelled with his studies that made his teachers and professions stupefied, and he's really good with memorizing stuff, like he has some photographic memory or something. Just like Anna Choi's case, typical. Yes, too typical if I might add. He's too perfect of a character that not only me but I bet the other readers as well will have a hard time imagining the scenes realistically. And that's a critical point in a story. It's best if you're able to touch people's hearts through reality, and I guess you'll have a hard time doing that in this case, but yeah, I still think that there's more to come in the story. I mean, who am I to tell these things when the story's just starting anyways?

So yeah. I think you lack on some twists with regards to their personalities, and like what I've said before, do avoid typical personalities and even scenes because cliche scenes like those really turns off some readers. So yeah. Sorry for the low grading for this section, but I think a grade of 6 is suitable for this section.

Plot: 33/40

I don't have much to say in this part since I think I practically sprayed it all out on the characterization, so I think I'll