Calling for IAmAnExoFan

"Three Wishes for a Soul"

Author: IamAnExoFan

Main Characters: Kim Jongin, Do Kyungsoo, Oh Sehun, Luhan

Genre: Angst, Drama, Psychological, Romance, Tragedy, /Yuri

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
Three lives. Three chances. Three Wishes.
You better treasure it - keep it safe. Once lost, it's gone forever, and you will never get it back.

 

  Critique:

Story Title: 4.5/5

A few words before the critique for your title. A title is a story’s first impression. People make a first impression with appearance, wardrobe and body language. Stories do it with a title. So I think titles are extremely important. A title creates anticipation and expectation or, perhaps, disinterest. Often the title is what will determine whether or not someone reads a story. Think of it as the first step in marketing your story. After publishing a story here on AFF, there's no assurance that a lot of people would read it right away. From the numerous kinds of stories present here on AFF, you're story only has a tiny percentage of value, especially if it's newly made. If a reader browses from the tags section, and he/she happens to stumble upon your story, he/she might read it if your title is interesting enough to catch his/her attention. The title's basically what's displayed anyways. I hope this makes sense though. I'm sorry if I somehow came out blabbering

Your title was appealing. It was simple yet catchy and at the same time, reasonable. Personally, I would most likely read a story with this kind of title. The title was relevant yet mysterious especially since the title kind of had that fantasy feeling on it since there's 'three wishes' and the word 'soul', but the story itself proved me wrong. Somehow, when I read your story, I felt more angst than fantasy. There's some feel to it that I can't explain, but you heightened my interest with that since I'm a big er for angst stories. Not to be biased or anything, but I really got interested when it proved me right. I was angst! Anyway, my only problem would be that it might be too simple for other readers, since I've noticed that most readers prefer more complex and more sophisticated titles these days, but hey. It's just my observation. I don't think there's any other title to replace the existing one as it's that relevant to the story in the first place. Nonetheless, the title won't matter anyway as long as the other story elements are good. For the capitalization, I didn't find anything wrong with it so you're all good.

 

Graphics: 6.5/10

Honestly, I love your poster. I'm really a er with gif posters, and yours was gone explicitly. It was blended well and the color scheme suited the main genres of the story. On the bad side, the effects' speed was somehow a bit fast for me. I would prefer a slower one, but what's done is done, right? My only issue would be the title and the text on the side. The title wasn't that visible, and the red font color of 'three wishes' kind of destroyed the feel for me. First of all, I think it would be better if the title was placed below Kaisoo since the background was way darker than that above. It would be easier to match it's font color as well there. Another thing was the dialogue you put on the left side of Kyungsoo. The size was fine I guess, but it wasn't that visible mainly because of the font color used.

On the good side though, Kyungsoo and Jongin's expressions matched the feel of the story. Kyungsoo was smiling, whereas Jongin looked distressed. The picture used for Kyungsoo matched as well since he's a singer, so that mic was a fortunate thing. Overall, the poster is good, but I would've been better if you had a matching background. The simple background of yours didn't really complemented the story. It would prefer it having a black or a while background I guess, with the title on it. But a plain one would do the trick.​

 

Description and Foreword: 7/10

First of all, let's talk about your description. It was short, but then again, catchy, and I admire that you didn't really put all the information to give away as it would've ruined the whole point of the general plot of your story. There was a capitalization error though. For example is the first line. For the 'Three Wishes', the word 'wishes' shouldn't be capitalized. Other than that, I didn't find anything wrong in your description. Also, I noticed that the font color you used was dark red. I think you should stick with a simple black font color. It may seem a bit dull but I personally think it would look better with it. It would've make sense if the poster or background's color scheme somehow complemented the font color, but sadly, it doesn't, so I think a black font color would be preferable. 

As for your foreword, I admire that you kind of put something like a longer description. You briefly described what the legend is, and I was enlightened. Your choice of words made it more interesting as well. It was simple, yet your words made me awe in satisfaction. It was a good thing that you explained some things. I honestly don't know anything about that legend at all, so it's a good thing that you briefly explained it. I would've been disappointed if you just put the short description and nothing else. Then, it wouldn't really make sense.

(Original Version) Legend has it that some humans have three lives. Three chances to live again until they die.
(Revised Version) Legend has it that some humans have three lives—three chances to live again until they die.

This is the only errors I found on your foreword. The second part is just a phrase, so you should connect it with the first sentence instead. I used a hyphen to connect them since a dash works somewhat like parentheses or a comma, but it is used where a stronger punctuation is needed. It can connect an independent clause with the 'interrupting' thought. 

 

Characterization: 7/10

I admire that you even explored the minor characters' personalities, such as Tao, Kris, Sehun, and Luhan. Although their roles weren't that oh-so-important in the story, you took your time in explaining something about themselves, although at some point I think you just dragged it a bit longer than expected considering that fact that their roles were that minor yet you still described them a bit longer. Nonetheless, you did well in characterizing them in general, but personally, I think you in some parts. On the good side, I'm very much glad that you were consistent with the names. It would've been bad if you used Kai and D.O in the story since it would sound weird. Their real names suited the angst feeling so good job!

For Jongin, well, his character was the most developed one throughout the story. For one, you did well in explaining what he looks like, specifically his appearance when Sehun and Luhan visited him. The fact that you explained his appearance briefly made me feel his emotion at the same time, since he looked distressed and sad that it made me realize his emotions. I loved how you mixed his qualities from both columns to make a more rounded character. However, make the character 60% good, and 40% bad, with