Calling for shiningtiara

"Chasing your shadow"

Author: shiningtiara

Main Characters: Kim Jaejoong, Jung Yunho

Genre: Action, Romance, 

Status: Completed

Description of Story:
Yunho and Jaejoong loves each other they even got married but something happened and Yunho left Jaejoong behind, alone with his son but Jaejoong believes in his true love that if he keep waiting for him one day... maybe one day he will meet him again.

 

  Critique:

Story Title: 5/5

I really like the title and it gives a nostalgic feel, which is perfect for this angst-y story.

 

Graphics: 10/10

I /adore/ your poster and the background. The background of the story is so clever; it's well created and nice to look at, yet not distracting. Awesome!

 

Description and Foreword: 4/10

I apologize for this low score, and I understand English is not your first language, but I have to take the points off for grammar and sentence structure. For example, in your description it says: "Yunho and Jaejoong loves each other they even got married".

Yunho and Jaejoong don't "loves" each other, they "love" each other. When there are two nouns connected by a conjunction word (something that joins two clauses or sentences together) (ex: and, but, or, etc), the verb is singular. So Yunho "loves" ___, Jaejoong "loves" ___, Yunho and Jaejoong "love" ___. I hope I'm making sense to you. 

Also, "they even got married" is a sentence all of its own, so you must add a period or semi colon there (a dash would work fine as well).

If you were to rewrite the entire description with correct grammar usage, it would look something along the lines of:

"Yunho and Jaejoong love each other - they even got married - but something tragic happens and Yunho leaves Jaejoong behind, along with his son. But Jaejoong believes in his true love and he believes that if he keeps waiting for him... maybe one day he will meet him again."

Not the best description either. It's a very generic summary for a story, I would even go as for to say that it's leaning towards being humdrum, but since English isn't your first language, it's perfectly understandable.

 

Characterization: 6/10

You mainly just jumped in with the plot and left the characters out to dry. You have to remember to focus on your characters since they are what makes your story interesting.

 

Plot: 36/40

Even though the summary wasn't the most interesting, the story itself actually was. From chapter one I understood why you chose the title for the story, but it became more and more cl