The Other Side - BaekforU

BLK's Review Shop ACHIEVE
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BONUS: I TRIED TO ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS IN THE REVIEW BUT IF YOU STILL WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING OR THERE IS SOMETHING UNCLEAR FEEL FREE
TO PM ME.
 
 
 
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♦ PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO CREDIT OUR SHOP'S LOGO/BANNER IN YOUR STORY'S FOREWORD!
♦ THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING BLK
REVIEWS AND FOR YOUR PATIENCE! HOPE TO SEE YOU VISIT AGAIN.
 
 
BAEKFORU
REQUEST ON: 11/2/15
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 11/12/15
SCORE: 95/100
TITLE: (8/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - IN RELATION TO THE PLOT IT REALLY DOES MAKE SENSE THAT YOU PICKED THIS TITLE.
EYE-CATCHING (2/3) - HERE I HAVE TO SAY THAT YOUR TITLE WAS NOT REALLY EYE-CATCHING FOR ME BECAUSE THERE ARE OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME OR A SIMILAR TITLE SO IT DOESN'T REALLY CAUGHT MY INTEREST.
ORIGINAL (3/4) - JUST AS I ALREADY WROTE IT IS NOT REALLY AN ORIGINAL TITLE THOUGH I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CHOSE IT AS YOUR TITLE. 
 
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - IT REALLY DOESN'T REVEAL TOO MUCH OF YOUR STORIES PLOT AND IT IS REALLY INTERESTING AND GOOD WRITTEN. IT IS LIKE YOU WANT THE READER TO THINK ABOUT WHAT IT ALL COULD BE ABOUT BEFORE READING THE ACTUAL STORY.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - EVERYTHING HAS A GOOD STRUCTURE AND IT DOESN'T CONFUSE THE READER.
 
CHARACTERS/CASTS (10/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (5/5) - I THINK YOU CAN'T REALLY SAY THAT THEY CHANGED OVER THE STORY IN A WAY YOU WILL SEE RIGHT AWAY BUT THEY DID CHANGE. ESPECIALLY EXO I THINK BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO CONTINUE THEIR JOURNEY WITHOUT THEIR LEADER SO THEY HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER. 
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - YOU WROTE THEIR RELATIONS REALLY GOOD BECAUSE WE SEE THE STORY MOSTLY IN JOONMYEONS POV BUT WE ARE STILL ABLE TO SEE HOW LUHAN ACTS TOWARDS JONGIN WHEN THE LATTER THINKS THAT IT IS HIS FAULT THAT JOONMYEON DIED. AS SAD AS IT IS WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM, THEY ALL GROW STRONGER BECAUSE OF IT AND GOT CLOSER TO EACH OTHER WHICH WAS REALLY GOOD WRITTEN IN YOUR STORY.
 
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (38/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - THROUGH THE WHOLE STORY THERE WAS NEVER A MOMENT I WOULD HAVE SAID THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
ORIGINALITY (10/10) I NEVER READ SUCH A PLOT BEFORE SO I WOULD SAY THAT IT IS PRETTY ORIGINAL.
TONE (5/5) - THE MOOD OF THE STORY IS PRETTY SAD AND SERIOUS BECAUSE OF THE THEME OF DEATH. YOU WERE PRETTY GOOD IN CATCHING THESE FEELINGS IN YOUR STORY.
NARRATION (5/5) - WE READ THE STORY MOST OF THE TIME THROUGH JOONMYEONS EYES. YOU WERE ABLE TO MAKE IT UNDERSTANDABLE HOW HE FEELS AND HOW HARD IT IS ACTUALLY FOR HIM AS THE PERSON THAT JUST DIED TO STILL BE IN THIS WORLD BUT AT THE SAME TIME TO NOT BE ON THIS WORLD ANYMORE.
STORYLINE (8/10) - I REALLY LIKE HOW YOU START YOUR STORY WITH A SITUATION THAT LEADS TO THE MAIN PART OF YOUR PLOT. YOUR DESCRIPTION THROUGH THE STORY ARE REALLY GOOD TOO. THEN AT THE BEGINNING JOONMYEON HIMSELF DOESN'T KNOW THAT HE IS DEAD BUT WE AS A READER GET HINTS THAT HE CAN'T BE ALIVE ANYMORE. IT IS REALLY GOOD HOW YOU DESCRIBE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE MEMBER OF EXO THAT ARE STILL ALIVE AFTER JOONMYEON DIED AND HOW HE IS WITH THEM AND WANTS NOTHING MORE BUT TO TELL THEM THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE AND THAT HE IS STILL THERE WITH THEM.
TO SHOW THE READER A BIT MORE OF THE RELATIONS BETWEEN JOONMYEON AND THE EXO MEMBER YOU WORK WITH FLASHBACKS ABOUT IMPORTANT EVENTS THAT HAPPENED IN THEIR PAST. IT SHOWS PERFECTLY HOW THEY STARTED AND WORKED HARD TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING, IT SHOWS THE HARDSHIPS THEY GONE THROUGH TOGETHER, HOW THEY BECAME A FAMILY. IT IS REALLY HEART BREAKING TO READ SOME PARTS OF YOUR STORY ESPECIALLY WHEN SOME OF THE MEMBERS LIKE JONGIN OR SEHUN THINK THAT THEY DIDN'T SHOW HIM THEIR LOVE ENOUGH OF THAT THEY ARE THE REASON WHY HE DIED. IT SHOWS REALLY GOOD HOW THEY GROW EVEN CLOSER TOGETHER.
 
THE ONLY THING I DIDN'T LIKED IN YOUR STORY WAS THE ENDING. NOT THAT I WANTED A HAPPY ENDING, IT IS JUST THAT IT WAS A BIT STRANGE FOR ME WHEN JOOMHYEON SUDDENLY IS AT THE CEMETERY WITH KRIS. I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT IT WAS JUST SO OUT OF NOWHERE THOUGH IT IS INTERESTING TO SEE HOW KRIS IS FEELING.
ALSO AFTER THIS SHORT MONOLOG OF KRIS IT FELT A BIT RUSHED THAT JOOMHYEON SAW THE LIGHT AND WENT TO IT. IT WAS LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PROPER END IT.
 
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) - I DIDN'T FIND SOMETHING TO POINT OUT HERE. GOOD JOB!
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOUR VOCABULARY IS GOOD. THERE IS NO OVERUSE OF SPECIFIC WORDS OR PHRASES.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) -ALSO HERE WAS IS NOTHING I HAVE TO SAY BECAUSE THERE WAS NO OVERUSE OF THE KOREAN LANGUAGE.
 
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (4/5)
ALL IN ALL I ENJOYED READING YOUR STORY BECAUSE I LIKE YOUR WRITING STYLE AND HOW YOU DESCRIBE EVERYTHING. BUT I WON'T GIVE YOU THE FULL POINTS HERE BECAUSE OF THE ENDING BECAUSE YOUR STORY WAS GREAT BUT THE END COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.
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Comments

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WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#1
One more thing. I know the Description and the forward are super long. But I planned this story to be like a Novella/Soap Opera.
It may seem like I'm giving away to much in the Description and The Forward, but as you realize you might notice that I haven't.
There are three main parts to this story:
The Past-Childhood
The Past- Orphans/Teens
The Present- The main setting, in which the forward revealed nothing.

I'm an interactive author, meaning I ask questions at the end and leave hints here and there for the readers to try there best at guessing. (They become more invested in my story this way, lol)
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#2
-Username : WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
-Profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/49463

- Story title : Love Me Right
- Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/976222/love-me-right-mpreg-hunhan-taoris-kaisoo-sulay-chanbaek-chenmin

-Genre : OT12, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Comedy, Growth, Friendship, Life, and "LEARNING TO LOVE"

- On-going | To be a long fic.

- Reviewer : KaihleeLo

- So The title of the fic is "Love Me Right", but it has nothing to do with the EXO song; even though some would just assume. The reason why I titled it 'Love Me Right' is because 6 of the main characters suffered in their childhood and eventually were orphaned. They don't know how to let themselves love. In particular, Luhan. As for the other 6 'Love' and 'Lust' are two different things.

- So before you read, I would like to point out, that the pacing of the story and the built up is exactly how I planned. I don't want to rush Romance because you don't 'fall in love' over night, and the characters need to mature. Also, there is a pattern to my chapters "The Past" chapters are essentially flashbacks. "The Present" is taking place now. For every 5 "The Present" chapters, it will be followed by 2 "The Past" chapters; Childhood/Teen years.

- I have a reader who offered to proofread my chapters since I had some typos, and I don't have the time to go back and fix them. "I always update between 12 am - 5 am, so that is the main reason". She is still editing the earlier chapters so please realize I am fixing the errors.


Oh gosh this was a lot. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and I wanted to explain the above before you review.
-Tigress-
#3
Chapter 127: Hey can I have someone send me my review here so I can save it?
This archive is non-selectable so I can't save it myself.