NOTE: Fourteen chapters - on-going

(7/10) Title: So it's you. It's you. Okay I understand, this is actually a great title. It leads readers into thinking "Who's you?" However it's too plain. Maybe, now this is only suggestion so dont get fed up assuming that I'm claiming myself as the best title maker, you could put something a lot more eyecatching. I don't have any other title names in mind right now. 

(7/10) Character: Those three points that were deducted were all because of the side characters, the students. Holy Lord, do they .. where do I even start? Honestly I would've expected them to treat her the same even when she blocked them out. Maybe if they didn't treat her like absolute trash then there could've been more drama in the story. You may be thinking, isn't what they're doing enough drama? Yeah there is, but it's so predicable of what's going to happen to her. She comes to school everyday, gets bullied, almost cries and holds it on, and then she goes back home. 

A suggestion would be they could treat her well and everyday when she comes to school. I'd be wondering what they'd have for her next. One day can be chocolates, and the other can be a birthday party. This sounds extremely corny but have you ever read an article where an idol's sibling gets harassed at school? No because their sibling is famous and they can get into some deep trouble for that. 

Luhan's corny, Baekhyun's corny, I sense Sehun's got something going on so he's also corny, Taeyeon's corny, everyone's corny except her parents, they're just .. dumb.

Dont worry about these characters, they're playing their role perfectly fine.  

(9/10) Originality: 180 degree turn here. I've said that I hated the why they treated Kyungmi because of her famous sister. There's no article on a student that's related to someone known world wide? of course there isn't, those don't exist. That's great thinking, going against the grains. But that one point that got screwed off was because almost all fanfics where the main character goes to school gets bullied. 

(32/40) Storyline/Plot: Falling in love with an idol, school troubles, and neglecting parents? Where have I read this before? Oh yeah, maybe in the 100 million other fanfictions on here. I didn't know if I could put this in the originality and drag down more points from there, but because I'm also talking about the storyline, it'll go here because the topic is storyline. Points were taken off because it's mostly too predictable.  

(18/25) Grammar/Errors: I understand that English isn't your first language, which is why below this I'll correct some mistakes for you.

I told another author this and I'm not afraid to tell you, I don't really like stories that fuse Korean language into randomly, so that deducted some errors points. This is an English website, if you wanted to have Korean in it then write the whole thing in Korean. (i.e; oppa, sunbae) 

Examples from Chapter One; I've also included a correction side and a suggestion one, and all of this is in chronlogical order.

Original: Why are they like that? Is that because I had accidentally burn our house along with my parents' imortant files which almost got my parents bankrupt? 

Correction: Why are they like that? Is it because I had accidentally burnt our house along with my parents' imortant files which almost got my parents bankrupt? 

Chapter two;

Original: "How could you don't know about that? I mean, they are a hot topic, Kyungmi-yah. Hot ..."

Correction: "How could you not know about that? I mean, they are a hot topic, Kyungmi-yah. Hot ..."

Original: But then my sister tsk-ed. She took out her phone, tapped osmething on it and showed me something. It was photos of 12 boys.

Suggestion: But then my sister tsk-ed. She took out her phone, tapped osmething on it and showed me something. They were photos of twelve boys.

Original: "Aren't he cute, Sister?" 

Correction: "Isn't he cute, sister?" 

Original: " ... the one who got you chocked like that. It was a must." 

Correction: " ... the one who got you choked like that. It was a must." 

Chapter three;

Original: After the nearly-dying-chocking-by-myself accident, we got close.

Correction: After the nearly-dying-choking-by-myself accident we got close. 

Original: That was Baekhyun.

Suggestion: It was Baekhyun. 

Original: "Why leaving so fast?" 

Correction: "Why are you leaving so fast?" 

Original: It must look like watching a person arguing with himself. 

Correction: It must look like watching a person arguing with herself. 

Note: Herself because both Taeyeon and Kyungmi are girls. It could be himself if he was talking about Luhan and Sehun because they're boys. If you don't know the gender and want to play it safe, then use themselves.

Original: ... since the vocal couldn't be erased- but they didn't seem to care.

Suggestion: ... since the vocal couldn't be erased- however they didnt seem to care.

Original: I sat in the corner, watching them becoming crazier and crazier.

Correction: I sat in the corner, watching them become crazier and crazier.  

Original: There was a few seconds of silence beofre Luhan decided to break the ice.

Correction: There shouldn't be silence at all. Did you not just say that they were in a karaoke room and they were becoming louder and louder?  

Note: If I've made a mistake myself or you think the correction isn't needed or right, comment down below so I can fix it or explain it to you. 

(4/5) Overall Enjoyment: It's actually quite relexing to read if I needed to kill some time. Now if I actually had time to kill them I wouldn't have uploaded this soooo late and I'm extremely sorry. And for me to postpone it so much and on top of that give you a crappy review? I'm not going to apologize there though, there's a disclaimer saying we have lives too and this review most likely wouldn't have changed if I reviewed it earlier. 

(77/100) Points Total

Bonus: Your questions and focuses for us:

Grammar: Found under grammar/error

Story plot: Found under storyline/plot

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