If we were meant to be, we will...

Reviewer: dhaatk
Review for: sandyloveo

Requested on: 04/12/2015
Finished On: 04/18/2015

NOTE: 6 Chapters (Spoiler Alert)

(9/10) Title: The chosen title is accurate and original. Just one small notice – it is not grammatically correct, because tenses do not match. The title should be “If we are meant to be, we will...”

(7/10) Character: All the characters are a bit of cliché. Their age is the biggest issue. How can Eleanor be born in 1994 and already work as emergency physician? She is 20 or 21 years old, so she should still be in university. Same is with Connor, who was born in 1995, but is already in his final year of law school, instead of being a freshman.

(6/10) Originality: Using arranged marriage as the backbone for a story is tricky, if you want it to be original. There have been plenty of stories like this produced before, a bunch of them are being written now, and many more will appear in the future. In order for arranged marriage to become original there must be something more than just long-lost best friends, who are randomly thrown back into a relationship.

(15/40) Storyline/Plot: There are a lot of holes in the plot. For example, Eleonor leaves Australia too easily. What happens is that basically her brother Kris just calls her, telling that she has to come back without giving any real reason, and the girl just does as she is told, despite being a grown-up with stable life in a foreign country. Then, it is disturbing how Eleonor races her older brother. The weird thing is that she wears an evening dress and expensive high heels. What is more, her and Minzy's meet does not make sense at all. Eleonor comes to meet her best friend, but leaves after two or three minutes. This interaction just does not look proper. Just think about it, two good friends had not seen each other for a long time, their first encounter would be far more exciting than just “Hey, how are you? Bye”. The major problem with storyline is the arranged marriage, which unfortunately makes up the biggest part of the plot. In this story, the arrangement comes out of blue and the reader is left totally confused. No details are given and basically nothing is explained. What makes it worse is that Eleonor and Mark hardly interact with each other, even though they are going to be married pretty soon. It is also funny how Eleonor randomly goes shopping for a wedding dress, although nothing has been properly arranged yet.

(17/25) Grammar/Errors: The grammar skills are not the worst, but this story surely needs some serious proofreading. Tenses are mixed throughout the story and sometimes words are not used properly. Some phrases do not make sense or are not in their appropriate positions. For example, it is not clear what you mean by saying “Thanks for putting me in bed.” The most annoying thing to a lot of readers is the usage of Korean words. There are some Korean phrases that lose their meaning when translated into English language, for instance “oppa” or “noona”, but aside from that Korean words should not be used, because they can be easily translated to the language, in which the rest of the story is written. The precise words would be: awe, ani, appa, andwae, annyeonghasaeyo, aniyo, arrasso, nae, and kaja.

(1/5) Overall Enjoyment: The more such stories I read, the more bored of them I become. These first sixchapters did not catch my eye at all and grammar errors made it difficult to go through the narration. Good luck!

(55/100) Points Total

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