Bravo My Life - bravomylife
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BRAVOMYLIFE
REQUEST ON: 3/15/16
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 3/24/16
SCORE: 81/100
TITLE: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - I THINK YOUR TITLE CAN MAKE SENSE TOGETHER WITH THE TITLE IN DIFFERENT WAYS BECAUSE IT ALWAYS DEPENDS ON HOW YOU UNDERSTAND IT. FOR ME, IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU MEAN IT A BIT SARCASTIC BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED TO JIYONG BEFORE THE STORY STARTED AND IT MADE SENSE WHY YOU CHOSE THE TITLE AFTER I FINISHED THE STORY.
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - THOUGH IT IS A RATHER SIMPLE TITLE IT STILL WAS ABLE TO GRAB MY ATTENTION BECAUSE YOU CAN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE STORY SO IT IS SOMETHING UNKNOWN THAT MADE ME CURIOUS ABOUT THE STORY ALSO LIKE I MENTIONED ABOVE, I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN WITH YOUR TITLE.
ORIGINAL (4/4) - IT ACTUALLY SURPRISED MY THAT THERE ARE NOT MANY OTHER STORIES WITH SUCH A TITLE BECAUSE IT IS A SIMPLE TITLE BUT I AM GLAD BECAUSE I REALLY LIKED YOUR TITLE AND SO I'M HAPPY TO SAY THAT IT IS ORIGINAL.
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (7/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (2/5) - HONESTLY I TEND TO SAY THAT THE FOREWORD SHOULD BE SHORT AND NOT TOO REVEALING BUT HERE IN THIS CASE I THOUGHT IT A BIT TOO SHORT. SURE IT DOESN'T REVEAL TOO MUCH BUT IT ALSO DOESN'T REALLY SOUND INTERESTING TO ME THAT I WANT TO READ THE STORY. SO IT WOULD BE GOOD TO ADD SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING SO YOU WANT TO READ THE STORY RIGHT AWAY. YOU COULD ALSO ADD A SHORT PART OF THE FIRST CHAPTER JUST A READING REHEARSAL THAT CATCHES THE INTERESTING OF WHOEVER IS READING IT.
APPEARANCE (5/5) -BECAUSE THERE ISN'T MUCH, IT HAS A GOOD STRUCTURE AND IS NOT TOO CONFUSING.
CHARACTERS/CASTS (8/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (5/5) - THERE ARE BIG CHANGES FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY UNTIL ITS END.
AT FIRST WE HAVE JIYONG WHO LIVES IN A RATHER BROKEN FAMILY, HIS PARENTS STOPPED SHOWING HIM LOVE AFTER HE STOPPED BEING A TRAINEE AT SM ENTERTAINMENT. THE ONLY PERSON THAT STILL CARES ABOUT HIM IS DAMI.
BUT THAT CHANGES OVER THE STORY SO THEY SEEM TO BECOME AN ACTUAL FAMILY AGAIN BECAUSE HARDTIMES SHOW THEM THAT THEY CAN ALWAYS RELY ON EACH OTHER.
JIYONG ALSO CHANGES BECAUSE OF SEUNGHYUN WHO COMES INTO HIS LIFE, AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY JIYONG SEEMED TO BE LOST AND WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT TO DO BUT EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN THE END HE KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS TO DO AND THAT HE WANTS TO RAP BECAUSE OF SEUNGHYUN.
AT FIRST WE HAVE JIYONG WHO LIVES IN A RATHER BROKEN FAMILY, HIS PARENTS STOPPED SHOWING HIM LOVE AFTER HE STOPPED BEING A TRAINEE AT SM ENTERTAINMENT. THE ONLY PERSON THAT STILL CARES ABOUT HIM IS DAMI.
BUT THAT CHANGES OVER THE STORY SO THEY SEEM TO BECOME AN ACTUAL FAMILY AGAIN BECAUSE HARDTIMES SHOW THEM THAT THEY CAN ALWAYS RELY ON EACH OTHER.
JIYONG ALSO CHANGES BECAUSE OF SEUNGHYUN WHO COMES INTO HIS LIFE, AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY JIYONG SEEMED TO BE LOST AND WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT TO DO BUT EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN THE END HE KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS TO DO AND THAT HE WANTS TO RAP BECAUSE OF SEUNGHYUN.
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (3/5) - I REALLY LIKED THE OVERALL BECAUSE THEY WERE REALISTIC, SOME RELATIONS WERE BROKEN BUT FIXED OVER THE STORY. AND WE WERE ABLE TO SEE GREAT RELATIONS BETWEEN FAMILY MEMBERS, FRIENDS AND LOVERS.
THOUGH THE RELATIONSHIP OF SEUNGHYUN AND YOUNGHEE WAS HARD TO ACCEPT AND CREEPY STILL IT WAS INTERESTING TO READ BECAUSE SEUNGHYUN WAS REVEALED TO ME MORE INSECURE THAT YOU THOUGHT AT FIRST.
JUST LIKE I WROTE ABOVE, IT WAS REALLY GOOD HOW THE BOND OF JIYONGS FAMILY CHANGED OVER THE STORY SO THERE IS NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT THEM.
THE ONLY RELATION THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUSED ABOUT WAS THE ONE BETWEEN JIYONG AND SEUNGHYUN BECAUSE IT WAS SO FAST. LIKE ONE MOMENT THEY MET AND BECAME FRIENDS THE NEXT JIYONG SUDDENLY CONFESSES AND SEUNGHYUN RETURNS HIS FEELINGS LIKE YOUNGHEE DOESN'T EXIST AT ALL. IT WAS A BIT OUT OF BLUE SO LITTLE PASSAGE WITH HOW THEY GET CLOSER TO EACH OTHER AND EVENTUALLY REALIZE THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE, LIKE WE KNOW ABOUT JIYONGS FEELINGS BUT NOT ABOUT SEUNGHYUNS SO MAYBE SOME HINTS FROM HIS SIDE WOULD BE NICE.
THOUGH THE RELATIONSHIP OF SEUNGHYUN AND YOUNGHEE WAS HARD TO ACCEPT AND CREEPY STILL IT WAS INTERESTING TO READ BECAUSE SEUNGHYUN WAS REVEALED TO ME MORE INSECURE THAT YOU THOUGHT AT FIRST.
JUST LIKE I WROTE ABOVE, IT WAS REALLY GOOD HOW THE BOND OF JIYONGS FAMILY CHANGED OVER THE STORY SO THERE IS NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT THEM.
THE ONLY RELATION THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUSED ABOUT WAS THE ONE BETWEEN JIYONG AND SEUNGHYUN BECAUSE IT WAS SO FAST. LIKE ONE MOMENT THEY MET AND BECAME FRIENDS THE NEXT JIYONG SUDDENLY CONFESSES AND SEUNGHYUN RETURNS HIS FEELINGS LIKE YOUNGHEE DOESN'T EXIST AT ALL. IT WAS A BIT OUT OF BLUE SO LITTLE PASSAGE WITH HOW THEY GET CLOSER TO EACH OTHER AND EVENTUALLY REALIZE THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE, LIKE WE KNOW ABOUT JIYONGS FEELINGS BUT NOT ABOUT SEUNGHYUNS SO MAYBE SOME HINTS FROM HIS SIDE WOULD BE NICE.
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (30/40)
LOGICALLY (5/10) - AT FIRST EVERYTHING WAS OKAY MADE SENSE BUT WHEN SUDDENLY YOUNGHEE STARTED TO BECAME A TOTAL PSYCHO, IT WAS LIKE YOU WROTE ABOUT A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY BECAUSE IT JUST CAME SO SUDDENLY WITHOUT A WARNING AND THEN IT ONLY BECAME "WORSE" BECAUSE SHE IS TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH HIM AND KILLS PEOPLE TO BE WITH HIM. THEN THERE IS THIS CONNECTION OF SEUNGHYUN TO THE MILITARY WHICH MADE IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT HE IS ONLY A MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENT. I DON'T WANT TO SAY THAT YOU SHOULD CHANGE THE WHOLE PLOT BUT A PASSAGE THAT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE WITH EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS.
ORIGINALITY (10/10) - IT IS REALLY ORIGINAL, I DIDN'T READ SUCH A STORY ON AFF SO FAR.
TONE (5/5) - OVERALL THE ATMOSPHERE WAS GOOD AND FITTED THE SITUATIONS.
NARRATION (5/5) - YOU DIDN'T CHANGE THE POVS TOO OFTEN AND OUT OF BLUE WHICH WAS GOOD AND MADE IT EASIER TO UNDERSTAND THE SITUATIONS OF THE STORY AND HOW YOUR CHARACTERS ARE FEELING IN IT.
STORYLINE (5/10) - I REALLY LOVED THE START OF YOUR STORY AND WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE CHAPTERS, IT WAS REALLY INTERESTING TO SEE HOW JIYONG JUST ENDED HIS CAREER AND CONTRACT WITH SM AND HOW HIS PARENTS DON'T REALLY LIKE HIM BECAUSE OF THAT. IT MADE ME LOOKING FORWARD WHETHER IT WILL CHANGE OR NOT AND WHAT HE WILL DO NOW, CONTINUING SOMEWHERE ELSE OR JUST BEING A SCHOOL BOY AGAIN.
HE MEETS SEUNGHYUN AND THEY JUST CLICK WITH EACH OTHER AS FRIENDS, JIYONG MEETS UNDERGROUND RAPPER AND SLOWLY FINDS HIS WAY BACK, THAT HE STILL WANTS TO BE RAPPER. IT IS ALWAYS INTERESTING TO SEE HOW PEOPLE FIND THEIR WAY SO THIS WAS NO EXCEPTION AT ALL.
THEN I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE FRIENDS AND EVERYTHING BUT ALMOST OUT OF BLUE, THEY CONFESS TO EACH OTHER WHICH WAS A BREAK IN THE STORY AND ITS FLOW, A BIT TOO FAST AND OUT OF BLUE. SO JUST LIKE I WROTE ABOVE SOME DESCRIPTIONS AND HINTS WOUND HAVE BEEN GREAT. AND IT CONTINUES LIKE THAT WITH THE WHOLE THING WITH YOUNGHEE, JUST LIKE I SAID IT IS LIKE A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.
IT MADE ME CONFUSED AND QUESTION WHO EXACTLY SEUNGHYUN IS BECAUSE OF ALL THESE THINGS THAT HAPPENED. SO HERE ALSO A FEW MORE DESCRIPTIONS AND EXPLANATIONS WOULD BE GREAT AND PREVENT ANY FUTURE CONFUSIONS.
THOUGH THE ENDING IS SAD IN A WAY, I LIKED HOW BOTH JIYONG AND SEUNGHYUN WON'T STOP RAPPING AND CONTINUE THEIR WAYS WITH WHAT THEY LOVE TO DO. IT IS THE PERFECT ENDING FOR A SEQUEL WITH THE FUTURE OF BIG BANG.
HE MEETS SEUNGHYUN AND THEY JUST CLICK WITH EACH OTHER AS FRIENDS, JIYONG MEETS UNDERGROUND RAPPER AND SLOWLY FINDS HIS WAY BACK, THAT HE STILL WANTS TO BE RAPPER. IT IS ALWAYS INTERESTING TO SEE HOW PEOPLE FIND THEIR WAY SO THIS WAS NO EXCEPTION AT ALL.
THEN I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE FRIENDS AND EVERYTHING BUT ALMOST OUT OF BLUE, THEY CONFESS TO EACH OTHER WHICH WAS A BREAK IN THE STORY AND ITS FLOW, A BIT TOO FAST AND OUT OF BLUE. SO JUST LIKE I WROTE ABOVE SOME DESCRIPTIONS AND HINTS WOUND HAVE BEEN GREAT. AND IT CONTINUES LIKE THAT WITH THE WHOLE THING WITH YOUNGHEE, JUST LIKE I SAID IT IS LIKE A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.
IT MADE ME CONFUSED AND QUESTION WHO EXACTLY SEUNGHYUN IS BECAUSE OF ALL THESE THINGS THAT HAPPENED. SO HERE ALSO A FEW MORE DESCRIPTIONS AND EXPLANATIONS WOULD BE GREAT AND PREVENT ANY FUTURE CONFUSIONS.
THOUGH THE ENDING IS SAD IN A WAY, I LIKED HOW BOTH JIYONG AND SEUNGHYUN WON'T STOP RAPPING AND CONTINUE THEIR WAYS WITH WHAT THEY LOVE TO DO. IT IS THE PERFECT ENDING FOR A SEQUEL WITH THE FUTURE OF BIG BANG.
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (24/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) - THERE WAS NOTHING SERIOUS AND DISTURBING WHILE READING SO NOT REALLY SOMETHING TO WRITE HERE.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOU USED THE WORD "" OFTEN AND CENSORED IT AND SOMETIMES MORE THAN ONCE A PARAGRAPH. I PERSONALLY DON'T REALLY LIKE IT WHEN THERE ARE TOO MANY CURSES SO THAT WAS A BIT IRRITATING TO ME. ALSO SOMETHING ELSE WAS THE GRANDMOTHER FOR JIYONG; SHE CHANGED FROM THE GRANDMOTHER TO THE GREAT GRANDMOTHER TO THE GREAT-GREAT GRANDMOTHER IN ONE CHAPTER WHICH CAN ALSO BE IRRITATING WHEN YOU LOOK CLOSELY.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (9/10) - JUST LIKE THE CURSING THING, I THINK THERE WAS A BIT MUCH OF KOREAN IN THE STORY. I MEAN IT IS OKAY TO COME WITH HYUNG AND OPPA AND THINGS LIKE THAT BUT I DIDN'T REALLY LIKE THERE WERE THESE "AISH" AND "OMO" THAT WERE A BIT TOO MUCH FOR ME.
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (2/5)
HONESTLY, WHEN I STARTED I WAS REALLY CURIOUS, INTERESTING AND WANTED TO READ AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE I LIKED THE IDEA OF THE PLOT BUT WHEN THE WHOLE PROBLEM WITH YOUNGHEE STARTED IT CALMED MY FEELINGS DOWN. IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME AND TOO ILLOGICAL FOR ME WITHOUT A REAL PASSAGE THAT EXPLAINS IT WHEN IT HAPPENS OR LATER ON.
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