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Author: Nightlock08
Reviewed By: Eunriehyun

Requested Date: 09/26/15
Story Link: Link
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Bonus: (Your questions and focuses for us here)

Title: 09/10

Logical: 3/3

It does make sense. The story is revealing the actual story around the protagonist. 
Eye-catching: 3/3
Revelare, is more attractive than your previous title. I give you credit for that. 
Eye-catching: 3/4
Even though it is better, I still feel that is lacking in something.

Description/Foreword: 08/10

Summary: 3/5

It was awesome! I was hooked since the beginning of the first sentence. But... you must delete that unnecessarily part. The part where the woman is been chase once she's supposedly hiding. That sure was a downward, so I suggest you read through it slowly and edit. 
Appearance: 5/5
Love the layout,man! It sure came in handy once I begin to read the description. It matched well with the chosen words and the suspense and everything else. 

Character Development/Showcasing: 10/10

Development: 5/5

The protagonist is improving, Ji Won, I can see her know as a real person and I can see other sides of her coming along. 
Relation/Cast: 5/5
Her relationship with Shin Hye is based in trust, which is important once you live by your own. Then there's her relationship with her ex, the gay dude, and...Han Groo, she is in a base friendship. _{I just don't trust her...}

Behind the Author's Mind: 37/40

Logical: 10/10

Okay,okay. So I see were the story is going and by the four done chaps,you'redoing well.
Original: 10/10
I haven't seen anything alike, so it does seem to be knew. Love it~ 
Tone: 5/5
It is done in a good pace,and the suspence the thrill feeling feels refreshing.

Naration: 2/5

Here is were the problem is.... You continue to go back from 3rd point of view to 1st. It did annoyed me while I was reading so you must work on it. 
Storyline: 10/10
Loved it. The thought of already knowing what is all about,but still not knowing how the events are going to come up is killing me. 

Proper Use of the English Language: 21/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 08/10

I saw some minor mistakes,none of you can't work on. But if it helps, use Microsoft Office as in drive or writing to help you decrease on those silly mistakes. 
Termonology: 4/5
Again you can use the Microsoft Office programs and increase your vocabulary and increase your subbs~ ^.^ 
Language Barrier: 09/10
You only continue to use basic korean words and that's find,for you only what your reader to fell in the protagonist's shoes so is alright.  

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 3/5
I enjoy it half through, I continued to get annoyed by the change of views so yup. But it was enjoyable... I can see you're working hard for it,and I'm here to help. So, if you just work on the things that I brought up your story will definitely hit sucess,and who knows it might even be advertise with a yellow star (;

Total: 88/100