Concealed Identity

Author : KaihleeLo.

 Reviewed by Natocuty.

Requested Date : 13/11/2016

Review Completion : 13/11/2016

1-Title: (8.5/10)

Logical: (3/3)

The title makes sense and it depicts the situation of Youngtae perfectly. It also holds a sense of melancholy since being kept away from the public’s eye is truly heart-breaking.

Eye-catching: (2.5/3):

 The title is definitely intriguing. It makes the reader want to dive in to read the story to find the correlation between the plot-line and the title.

Original: (3/4)

It is not an overly-used title which is a good sign.

2-Description/Foreword: (10/10)

Summary: (5/5)

It’s eye-catching and simple. The perfect combination.

Appearance: (5/5)

 The font used is nice, it’s clear and I like how you included a detailed explanation in the bottom.

3-Character development/Showcasing: (9/10)

Development: (4.5/5)

 First of all, I like how the character of the Crown Prince is flawed. He has a child out of wed-lock from someone of inferior status. I’m guessing he fell in love with the woman disregarding her and his clashing statuses and why do I have an inkling that his father had something to do with her death? He deeply cares for his son and it’s sad to know that even though he was “accepted” by his father he’s still looked down upon and kept hidden from the public. Inpyo is undoubtedly my favorite character so far, he has such a sad past and was wrongfully accused of a crime he did not commit and who’s the one who put him under the knife is none other than his beloved Yumi. The saying “never judge a book by its cover” embodies her perfectly, how could such an innocent soul murder the king? Then again her father is a sleazy fellow so I can understand where she takes this “thirst for power” from. A part of me hopes her feelings for him were at least genuine. Inpyo’s character transitions nicely from a man who hates using his fist (although he’s a warrior) to a colder being who’s been betrayed by his loved one. Wootae is a kind-hearted boy, the way he sympathizes with animals is heart-warming. Changwoo is a strong-willed young man who’s undoubtedly a troublemaker. Chuho and he are a perfect combo. I can’t help but feel bad for the crown prince, his mother is awful and hopefully she wouldn’t badly influence him thank god he has Changwoo by his side. I like the way you introduce the newer characters and how even though the story contains a huge number of leads you’ve managed to bring them all to life in and have made them hold a key role in the story. I truly applaud you for that.

Relation/Cast: (4.5/5)

 There’s a lot of secrets and betrayals surrounding each and every character. I like the fatherly relationship Wootae and Daniel share, you can truly tell that he cares deeply for the boy. Chuho and Changwoo are the perfect friends, they tease each other and all but they’ll always be there to aid one another. I’m glad the young crown prince has Changwoo by his side, the expectations everyone’s put on him seem to be suffocating the poor lad.

4-Behind the authors mind: (35.5/40)

Logical: (9/10)

The story is nicely paced and the events that are occurring are quite fitting. It’s a historical drama, after all, secrets, lies, betrayals are a huge part of it.

Original: (8/10)

I’m sure you were heavily inspired by Korean historical dramas, I sensed some similarities regarding certain scenes. However you have managed to put your own twist on it.

Tone: (5/5)

The tone used is befitting. It helps the reader relate with the characters and sympathize with them.

Narration: (5/5)

I’m all for the use of the third person, that way you can have an idea on the emotions, thoughts of every single character than having one describing them based upon what he/she sees.

Storyline: (8.5/10)

I’m not a huge fan of historical stories but I have to admit that yours is pretty interesting. There’s a lot of drama but that’s just a crucial a part of it. Sometimes it’s hard to keep track with the numerous characters that emerge but none the less the plot is engaging and addictive.

5-Language/Grammar (20/25):

 As far as mistakes go, I couldn’t really find any severe ones in your story. Your use of the English language is pretty good. However, some slight slip-ups need to be mentioned and amended such as the following sentences: “The doors to the room” (chapter 1) to, here is wrongly used it should be “of” instead thus, the phrase becomes “the doors of the room”. “The head warrior at my resting chamber” (chapter 1). The use of “at” is also incorrect it should be “of” instead. I know these may seem like small mistakes and I might be nit-picking but they dampen the potential of this story.

“He fell onto one knee and lean forward” (chapter 1). You started with the past tense might as well continue using it as in instead of “lean” it should be “leaned”. I noticed that you unconsciously tend to shift from one tense to another, it’s something you should pay attention to since it disturbs the flow of the events.  “Sadly no one have predicted” it should be has instead of have. How to conjugate the verbs depending on the subject at hand is important, I think you should revise that a bit. It might also be a mistake due to a lack of attention, therefore, you should always re-read a chapter before posting, there are always hidden mistakes lurking in every corner. Other than that, your vocabulary is rich and your writing style is rather nice.

6-General Enjoyment/Last Comment: (3.75/5)

Like I said before I am not a huge fan of stories that take place in past dynasties but I found myself intrigued by your story, it is paced nicely and each chapter makes you look forward to the next one.

 I hope you’ll keep on writing such good pieces.

Total Points: 86.75/100

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